DaRkAnGeL is Migrating...

Hi dear readers & followers of this blog. I have migrate the blog to a new site - thedarkangel.tumblr.com. Feel free to drop your comments & insight for all issues & topics. All will be welcomed. Blessings!

Kindness...

Sometimes it seems as if our world is becoming more and more abstract and in the process less and less intimate. City living and impersonal suburban homes make it easy to have an abstract concept of being a loving person without having to test that the hypothesis outside a very close circle of family and friends.

Kindness is the heart stretching itself and opening up clogged arteries before they know they have a problem. Kindness is the simple, unnoticed act of being present to the context of our daily lives. Kindness is the letting go of fixed societal procedures to reach across the chasm of isolation and touch another being. Kindness is a stretching, a movement, a touching that is more felt than thought.

For me, friends are just like my daily dosage of steroids. Someone I can put my practice of random kindness to use.They perk me up and sometimes alter my day so drastically that I really feel thankful that they are there for me despite of me sometimes behaving cold and withdrawn. Regardless of rain or shine, they will sure provide me with something to laugh at or a distraction to wind down. So, constantly, I reminded myself to be kind and loving, especially to my love ones and friends who have provided me much care and attention.

Our practice of kindness shows us a self that we can come to like and even love. We are all capable of kindness.

DaRkAnGeL’s WoRdS oF WiSdOm :

“We may have achieved much through all years of learning and the pursuit of wisdom. But, without a doubt, only the heart knows how to find what is precious.”

Coming Unglued...

Much about that being understood? Not really. As we often ask ourselves - when then can we see stability? Our inner beings seem to abhor the static. Just when we think we finally have it all together and we can coast for a while, we get hit with a new kind of curveball and suddenly everything that looked like it was together is up in the air again.   

Don't give up! Even though we may viewed being unglued as some kind of failure (a failure to be perfect, that is!), it's anything but. It's just our inner being's way of telling us that we have reached a place of awareness and strength that we are ready to move to a new level in our growth and development. Just to recall, chatting with my gal friend, who mentioned that she wants to attain another level of spiritual strength. This might just be it. Our inner being is the best beacon to the gateway of well-being. 

Stasis is not a normal state for the human organism, even though we would like it to be. There couldn't be any denail in this. We may get little periods in which we can rest and catch our breath and life is an ever-moving, ever-growing process. We find that when we don't fight life and join in and participate in it, life is easier. "Losing it" may just be the next step. That may be your real winning point.

DaRkAnGeL's WoRdS oF WisDoM : 

"When you are creating a visual memoir, just like what I am doing, through your surroundings, it's a never ending story. You don't have to stop. What's more, you really can't. You will always be revealing a new aspect of your personality as you discover it. You will constantly be editing, weeding out what you outgrow, making both subtle and significant decorating changes as the chapters of your life unfold and allow for or demand, rewrites."   

A Really Crazy Day!

Can't do much for blog today. Mind so congested with work and papers. Struggling process at the optimum. Deadlines and perfection. What more to be expected? With my wrist injury, writers' block and fatigue mind, so dear readers, I will make it short.  

Have been toggling with my clients as well as my set of problems and needs. The constant complain of insufficiency & unfairness. The incessant list of fulfillments. I kept telling myself that all are just work. Do my best and let it be. Just as what Alexander The Great says to his followers, "I come with nothing and therefore I will leave this world the same."  What more can I do?

To many may be important, but material possessions will rust away, wear and tear or depreciate. But your inner resources, character and morality must never depreciate. In the process of seeking success, you must also seek sincere fulfillment. Ask yourself, it is not only what you want to be. Without a doubt, God gives opportunities to all who strive for them; success depends not only with material achievements but also very much upon the use made of them.

DaRkAnGeL's WoRdS oF WiSdOm :

"I strongly believe  very much that one half of the world cannot fathom the pleasures of the other. What's new?"

A New Day... A New Beginning.

Am I longing for not just a new day, but a better one. But what is to be regarded as better? Everyday I was telling myself before I set out to work, before I step out of the house. "Today is a new day. Without a doubt you will get out of it. If you have made mistakes, even serious ones, there is always another chance for you. And supposing you have tried and failed again and again, you may have a fresh start any moment you choose, for this thing that we called "failure" is not the falling down, but the staying down." 

Just minutes ago, I was still observing this mantra, holding dear to positive changes. Still I am keeping this. But, I know I will soon be challenged again. I was often told. I am an inspirational writer, a self help believer. Thus, I should be positive, mentally strong and allow no failures or disappointments to cast a shadow on me. I am still trying, very hard. 

With this, I hope all who are going through tough times and all those who knows me personally, get to have a little glimpse to my world. It's not all sunny and bright always. Of course that does not mean we should stop our pursuance. We are all looking forward to a new day, a day of new changes. How exciting it is to approach each day as a new day, which of course,it is. There is something about the freshness in the idea of a new day that encourages us to shake the dust off our sandals and give life a new try.

We can begin again each day. Each new day brings with it the opportunity to come up with fresh ideas, fresh approaches and fresh behaviours. This doesn't mean that we ignore the past or pretend that we do not have to deal with it. We do. And when we approach each morning as a new day with new possibilities, our lives beckons us. And with that,  life seems kinder and easier too. Ty it. Greet each day as a new day rich with possibilities and see what happens.     

DaRkAnGeL's WoRdS oF WiSdOm :

"I believe very much, that if things are not going well with you, begin your effort at correcting the situation by carefully examining the service you are rendering and especially the spirit in which you are rendering it."

Wounds – Courage

Very few, if any, of us do not carry around wounds and experiences of the past. Be it a loss of a love one or a relationship The wounds and experiences may have caused great pain and misery. But all will healed in time and we will be wiser and stronger as all these are the learning opportunities of our lives. Frequently, we want to romanticize wounds, indulging in the belief that some wounds cannot be healed. This is just not true. All wounds, no matter how painful, how much you felt betrayed, can be healed. We have only to be willing to go through the deep process of healing, no matter what had happened, no matter what is required.

The lovely thing about our inner being is that we have to reach a certain level of maturity, strength and awareness before it will bring up these old wounds, experiences and memories. The very fact that they are coming up is an indicator of how far we have come. Maybe it still hurts alot. But you will experience better peace and will eventually manage to arrest the absence due to the loss.

Only one caution – never, never try to force (or let someone else force) your old pain to come up. Deal with it as it comes up. In the process of life and make sure you have a safe, supportive, non-interfering environment in which to go through it. We all are sentimental, emotional beings. To live with wounds, pain and emotional experiences is part and parcel of life. The strength we acquired will carry on with us for a long way throughout our journey.

DaRkAnGeL's WoRdS oF WiSdOm :

"No way anyone's life is perfect throughout. Everyone has a turn in making mistakes. Everyone is a learner. And I am learning everyday. Life wouldn't be any fun if it didn't have it's ups and downs. Success covers a multitude of blunders..." 

Moods...

Today is real a challenging day for me. Was really moody. With my colleague haunting me trying to apologized for losing my cheque book and all the mistakes he did, I almost lose it by yelling at him. But I managed to resist dumping my moods full force on him and people around me. Well, at least I didn't let it last. Most of us don't think of ourselves as being moody and yet almost all of us, unless we are completely out of touch with ourselves, do have moods. For me, really bad ones. But with God's grace & my sheer determination, all seemed to have simmered down quite a bit (I hope)

It's not that moods are wrong. They just simply are. They are as much a part of us as anything else. We certainly don't have to get rid of them, though we do need to learn how to live with them and control them well and maybe even learn how to recognized what they are meant to teach us.

As we learn to recognize our moods, we can get friendly and in control with them. They are just moods after all and who don't have any. Sometimes, for seemingly no good reason, we just start feeling grinchy and a little mean (think I am guilty of it). We need to honor and respect these times. A bad mood may be the opening into an important awareness that is ready to come up for our learning. It could be our authentic self trying to make sense of changes and growth we are going through. Of course, it helps alot more if our loved ones are there to understand and be patient with us. Nonetheless, we shouldn't be complacent and take everyone for granted. We won't know when is the last straw for the matter.

Most of all, we need to refrain from dumping our moods on those we love. They'll only be hurt and we'll end up feeling real bad for what we did and about ourselves. Once we learn to see our moods and honor them (not deny them), we are able to warn others of thunderclouds on the horizon and clearly  let them know that the mood has nothing to do or concern them. We can assure them that whatever it is, it is something bubbling up that we have the opportunity to learn from. By honoring and respecting our moods in this way, we can bring balance to our situation. This doesn't seem so much an undaunting task. I am still learning and guess it's not so far it's been progressing.

DaRkAnGeL's WoRdS oF WiSdOm :

"To my understanding, spirituality, as the ancients reiterated repeatedly, involves a continual falling down and getting back up again."

December...

Ah... finally, it's the last month of the year - December. It was a pretty good year to me, especially as the last quarter of the year approaches near. New job scopes, new aspiration, new friends and new achievements and definitely new commitments. Glad to see all my loved ones and friends happy and had a relatively good year. For those who are going through challenges, hopefully the year will end on a better note.

December's gifts - custom, ceremony, celebration, consecration - come to us all wrapped up, not in pretty gift wraps and ribbons, but in cherished memories. This is the month of miracles, so despair not if things aren't going well. As said often if the going gets tough, then the tough gets going. The oil that burns for eight days, the royal son born in a stable, the inexplicable return of Light on the longest, darkest night of the year. Where there is Love, there are always miracles. And when there are miracles, there is great joy. 

So, banish hatred and embrace love and joy. We all should weave the one of the most important principle of life - Joy - into our tapestry of contentment. At last, we embrace the miracle of authenticity, changing forever how we view ourselves. Our daily round. Our dreams. Our destinies. Days we once called common, we now call holy and special. Just like all of us. We are the special and blessed ones. We will always be. What else can you expect. We just are.

DaRkAnGeL's WoRdS oF WiSdOm :

"For me to see, time is too slow for those who's having expectations, too swift for those who fear, too long for those who grieve, too short for those who rejoice. But for those who love, time is eternity."     

The Kindness Of Strangers...

The day started without much happenings and I presume the ending will be sharing the same. With the merciless rain, most of us who need to rush from place to place will find this rather hazardous. For me, not too bad as I just have to rushed for one client's appointment and to gym. Nothing seemed amiss until I was approached by this Caucasian who stopped me abruptly and asked me if I am married.I state the fact of not and he proceed to question why then I am donning a wedding band. The fact that my ring is on my right hand and so I told him that wedding bands are supposed to be worn on the left. He then introduced himself and I excused myself stating I am in a rush. Strange day as it seems but it just another harmless encounter with a stranger. 

As I recalled, as stated in the Bible, the angels who intervened in the lives of humans were most often strangers who appeared on the scene just once, gave assistance and then disappeared as mysteriously as they arrived. From all the published firsthand accounts, the standard angelic operating procedure hasn't changed in 5000 years.

From this day forward, start becoming consciously aware of your encounters with strangers. Look for them. Smile. Make eye contact. Strike up a conversation. You never know. Even if it's not an angelic encounter, it may be a Celestine moment. I still remember years ago when in San Francisco I was at the hotel lobby when I bumped into an old lady with her hands full of parcels. I quickly apologised and offer my help to bring her stuffs to the restaurant she is supposed to be for her appointment. She smiled sweetly at me and thanked me instead for my kindness. 

Days passed and on this uneventful day I had a flat tyre and it was pouring out there. With no other alternative, I just sit in my car to wait for the rain to lighten up so that I can change the wretched tyre in my Burberry trench. A car pulled up and a tall gentleman checked out on my trouble. Not only did he helped me with the tyre in his suit and tie, he even offer to provide his tools for the purpose since I did not have any in my car. When done, I went up to him to expressed my appreciation for his help. It was then I realized he has a passenger and bless my soul. The lady sitting in his car was the old lady I helped at the hotel days ago. Unbelievable? Believed it!

Stop the rather self-centered assumption that a little help (though I can't consider mine as little) is too much help to ask for especially for us females. Because we become a burden only when we are overwhelmed by our own hubris and have to rely on others to bear our load as well as their own. Be kind to strangers who you feel relatively alright and you believe they are not meaning any harm to you. Let strangers be kind to you. I am sure most of us can be sensible enough to determine the motive of strangers well enough. Think of it as a positive exchange of comfort and compassion in the circle of life. Remember as St Paul reminds us, "Some have entertained angels unaware." And some of us have encounter them without knowing, sending them away before receiving their blessing. 

DaRkAnGeL's WoRdS oF WiSdOm :

"You will find, as you look back upon your life, that the moments that stand out, the moments when you have really lived, are the moments when you have done and see things in a spirit of love." 

Dreams...

Dreams add balance to our lives generally. There are two major kinds of dreams, and both are just as important. Some dreams are hopes and wishes. Many of these were formed or discovered from young. and they give our forward movement a structure and focus throughout life. They may have had the rough edges knocked off over the years and if we view them tenderly, we will see that many of them have served it's purpose well as wise guidepost, pointing our way and direction whether we realized it or not at that time. 

Then, there are the dreams that come to us in our sleep and in near-sleeping states. These dreams are messages and experiences that our rational, logical mind does not know how to handle. Well, at least that's what I feel and was told by my most "talented" Romanian-blooded aunt.

Our dreams are our inner being's attempt to bypass our rational mind with our deeper feelings and the messages of these dreams filter deep into us so that we can integrate our wholeness. Interpretation of dreams may not definitely be useful at all. Instead, we need to "feel" into the knowing. And definitely knowing, somehow out there, there was a connection after all. So, honor your dreams, waking and sleeping. Respect the information they have for you. 

DaRkAnGeL's WoRdS oF WiSdOm :

"Life may seemed like a long shipwreck of which the debris are friendship, glory and love. The shores of our existence are strewn with them."

   

Freedom / Responsibility

An ordinary day at work that seems uneventful. Tough still seeing angry people walking in and out of my office. Seems ironical since it's freedom they are seeking, but ended up with more responsibilities on their shoulders. As I prognosticated. All may not definitely end well. Still the choice is one's own.

Freedom and responsibility - the words seem to go together. We cannot have freedom unless we are willing to take responsibility for our lives and it is through the act of taking responsibility that we begin to feel a sense of power and freedom. It almost seems that modern psychology has so convinced us that we are victims that we are willing to throw out the baby with the bath water, giving up the potential freedom in order not to take responsibility. What a loss!

Responsibility is not about accountability or blame. Accountability and blame are much too small to encompass responsibility. Accountability and blame have distorted our concept of responsibility. We are not responsibility for events we cannot control. We are responsibility for what we say and do and how we react to happenings that are out of our control. That's plenty; that's enough. Try freedom.

Try responsibility. You might like them. Spend one day being utterly responsible for everything you do. Feel the return of your personal power and freedom.

DaRkAnGeL'S WoRdS oF WiSdOm :

"Men is condemn to be free; because once thrown into the world, he is responsible for everything he does."   

Rx For Harried Hearts And Frazzled Minds

Have you ever experience this - Some nights waves of weariness beat against our brains, crash against our hearts, wash over our bodies, threatening to erode our best defenses like sand dunes upon the shore. The water is cold, dark and deep. Diversions that have worked in the past - drink, drugs, food, sex, shopping and work - now obscure a dangerous undertow. Nothing seems to hold back the tide. We need someone to throw us a line, to rescue us from drowning in disappointment. When these nights come and I find I'm stranded alone on the beach of faltering belief, I have found refuge in a very centering and comforting prayer, which I get to chanced upon in my early teens by Dame Julian of Norwich, a 13th century English mystic :

     "All shall be well,
      And all shall be well,
      And all manner of things shall be well."

This simple affirmation of faith is especially comforting because it seems to console the dark submerged sadness of the explicable, the unexpressed, the unresolved, the unfair and the undeniable that stalk my soul after I close my eyes. I'll say the prayer over and over again softly, under my breath like a mantra, not trying to understand the meaning of the words because I can't really at that age (12 yrs old). Some mysteries are beyond our comprehension. Some mysteries we will never solve. Never know.

So instead of trying to make sense of it all, I simply let the Spirit of the words sooth my frazzled mind and harried heart until sleep comes. Sometimes we can't make sense of it. Sometimes none of it make sense. Sometimes it just is. But if we can hold on enough for this night to give way to another day, all shall be well, even if it's different from what we had expected. Even if it's different from what we had hoped for and believe with all our hearts would happen. Well, it's Thanksgiving, so we certainly have more than enough to be gratified and grateful about, for ourselves as well as for our love ones. So, give thanks.

DaRkAnGeL'S WoRdS oF WiSdOm :
"There is hope for all of us no matter what happened. Well, anyway, if you don't die, you live through it, day in, day out."

Self Reliance... Am I Guilty?

Rarely do we take the time to examine the philosophies that guide or confine our day-to-day living. So subtle is the influence of some of these philosophies that we do not even have a conscious awareness of their existence. Take self-reliance for example.

Self-reliance is part of the warp and woof of the modern culture; it is an ideal that permeates much of how and what we think and feel. Yet self-reliance is a difficult issue for many of us. Self-reliance has been twisted to mean that we have to do everything for ourselves, that asking for help is an act of losing "face" and dignity. It's probably an issue of one's pride, I guess. As thought or consider by the majority, that heroes are people who never need anyone else. It is more like they are more likely to be needed rather than to need. And even when they accept help, they don't really need it.

Perhaps most of us would stop right there and loudly decry, "This is too much and too extreme for me. It doesn't apply." Doesn't it? Take a closer look. Do we secretly fee like failures when we don't know how to do everything ourselves? Do we push ourselves beyond our level of expertise? Have we "given up" because we unconsciously hold on to a belief in self-reliance but just can't do it at all? Are we so self-sufficient that we don't know how to function cooperatively?

A balance life invites us to learn to take responsibility and use our talents and yet it also reminds us that a rope held by many hands is stronger than a rope held by only one.

DaRkAnGeL's WoRdS oF WiSdOm :

"We cannot climb up a rope that is attached only to our own belt. For I am learning everyday. Life wouldn't be any fun if it didn't have its ups and downs."

Criticism - Positivism

How often I heard this - criticism. More so because I was often labelled as a critic. Maybe it's my profession, maybe it's the way I am brought up and even possibly my exposure to life. So, here I am, found guilty of this charge. But I have mellowed down so far over the years and still trying to do so. Criticism and cynicism are national diseases. And, this doesn't mean that people who do too much have to overburdened themselves with them.

Although criticism and analysis are still seen as sophisticated and scientific, we do have other choices. For example, we can vaccinate ourselves against their contagion with positivism. We can silence our inner critic. The choice is ours. Being critical rarely results in improvement; it usually results in distrust and sometimes even anger. We can catch ourselves in the act of being critical and take another tack. We can ignore our negative thoughts rather than feed them on grains of criticism. We can accept flaws and what needs to be changed while shifting our focus to positives and goodness.

Being critical can become a habit and habits are easier to make them break. Being positive can become a habit too. We can be grateful for what we have, for who another person is, for what we have achieved and received and for what we have learned. When we replace the negative with the positive, subtle and significant shifts begin to occur, like huge fissures in a glacier.

So, since quite a few of my buddies and other friends aregoing through trying and daunting times, this publication is dedicated to them. As you who is going through obstacles getting the financial freedom you longed for, where you feel your career is taxing you, so much so, you feel your life is so stressful and hoping for the change that never seems to happen. And also to you who has just stepped into the society after your graduation, that everything seems so bleak and uncertain.

Now, with this, I implore you my dear friends, try noticingyour inner critic, silencing it and replacing it with something positive and sit back, relax and see what happens. You may be pleasantly surprised by how much your life will turn towards and results in a positive outcome.

DaRkAnGeL's WoRdS oF WiSdOm :

"We are all made up of fragments, so randomly and strangely assembled that every moment, every piece plays its own game. There is as much difference between us and ourselves as between us and others."

Attitudes

I was as often told, that I sometimes get almost dizzy with the the strength and power I have! Seems well said! We all have the power to make our life easier just by how we approach it. What a revolutionary thought - from me.

Life is a process in which we can participate, stand back and bemoan our fate, or we can try to ignore it and meander through it as best as we can. The decision is in our hands. We can make life much more difficult with the decisions we make or we can make it simpler and easier.

One of the ways we make our life hard is by convincing ourselves that we are a victim. Victims don't have much fun. We may indeed have been victimised in many different ways and it is up to us whether we become a victim or not. I may not like others do to me. I may not like my station in life. I may also not like what life has dealt me. Yet, no one owes me anything. No one but myself can take the next step and make me a victim. Victims are unhappy and resentful, miserable and isolated. Isn't it great to know that we have a choice?


DaRkAnGeL's WoRdS oF WiSdOm :

"No life is so hard that you can't make it easier by the way you take it."

Dealing With Criticisms & Self-Doubt

Day in day out, we get to hear from others around us - criticisms for ourselves or for others. But be it we are able to deal with them is another question altogether. With that, doubts and uncertainties begin to creep in to our being, taking over our senses and will-power sometimes.

There aren't many of us who have really mastered the difference between accepting and checking out criticism and doubting ourselves. Doubting or not doubting ourselves is much deeper than accepting criticism. In fact, it is only when we have a deep, abiding relationship with ourselves - that trusts that we can take in, check out, handle and clearly accept or reject criticism - that we come not to doubt ourselves. When we are defensive, we clearly don't trust ourselves enough to examine criticism, sorting it out, keeping what is useful and tossing the rest. It helps a great deal to know that we have some sort of Higher Power we can ultimately turn the issue over to after we have done our part.

Ever ask yourself? What do you do with criticism? When you get into a cycle of self-doubt, trying stepping back, being open to any truth in the criticism, checking it out, taking what is useful and pitching the rest, knowing that you have done what you can.

As we go through this process, we learn to trust ourselves. Berating and beating ourselves up is only self-centered self-indulgence. Who needs it? When we learn to have confidence in ourselves and our abilities, we can leave the outcome to the powers that be.

DaRkAnGeL'S WoRdS oF Wisdom :

"One thing I never do is doubt myself ... I don't beat myself up like that. I have confidence in myself and my ability. Whatever happens is the Lord's will."

Pushing Ourselves...

Who said that? Every person whose life is out of balance is overcome by that feeling at some point. Yet, if we really drive ourselves , we discover that we can push our limits to the max.

We live life in a culture where pushing beyond our limits and almost killing ourselves at our own expense and that of those who love us has become heroic. What a crock! What's the joy and excitement in being "financially well taken care of" if the person who does the caring (whom we love) is a near-dead, limit-pushing hero?

There is a great difference between challenging ourselves and pushing ourselves to break our limits and ourselves. Challenging ourselves is respectful of ourselves and others. Challenging ourselves is not a frenzied plunge to find our spirituality; it is a tender working with our spirituality.

Just heard from a friend that her relative is unfortunately diagnosed with cancer, with two still young children. The world is indeed callous. We won't know where the road will end. So, when we are still standing strong, it will be worthwhile to put our best attempt in all our endeavours and for our love ones, before our time runs out.


DaRkAnGeL'S WoRdS oF WiSdOm :

"The rung of a ladder was never meant to rest upon. But only to hold a man's foot long enough to enable him to put the other somewhat higher."

Hope...

One of the things that silently falls by the wayside when our busy lives get stretched too thin is hope. Hope is never limited to the unreal. Hope is that process within ourselves that stretches us beyond the ordinary, beyond the possible to the impossible, while at the same time rendering what seemed impossible possible. Hope feeds our soul and being. It is that immeasurable source of power that comes from beyond ourselves and is not controlled by us.

Depriving ourselves of hope confines us to a world grown devoid of colors and surprises. We no longer see the flowers and the rainbows that are there.

Hope is not expensive to have . On the contrary, it is very expensive to be without. Hope is one of the inalienable gifts we have as human beings. It can never be squandered or overused. So, whenever you feel desperate or hopelesss, recognize and accept. Let yourself know how that feeling is there to open the possibility for hope to re-enter your life.

DaRkAnGeL's WoRdS oF WiSdOm :

"There are no hopeless situations; there are only people who have grown hopeless about them."

Self - Acceptance

There will never be an ending to hear from others lamenting about themselves - their short-comings, the so called "imperfections" . What person other than ourselves can we be sure will be with us from the moment of conception until the last breath leaves our body? None that I can think of. We may look for someone to be with us always and even the love of our life will not have the same duration with ourselves that we do. Let's face it ; if we are looking for longevity in our relationships, we are it! No relationships last forever. Not to mention the time of age we are in. All things, are after all, transient. That's just the way it is.

Now that we have established the point of unique longevity, let's explore some of the factors that may limit our romance with ourselves. This is the easiest love affair of our lives and we don't want to miss it.

Self-acceptance - now that's a tough one. Some of us are so busy trying to make someone like us or trying to be someone else - who we think we should be, who society or our family thinks we should be, or who we dream we are - that we have difficulty seeing and accepting who we are at this point in time and space. The irony is that the minute we accept ourselves as we are, we can change and grow and move on.

Admitting our mistakes is one of the wide avenues leading to self-love. When we admit our mistakes and make amends for them, we reclaim our power and actually like ourselves better. Remember, lifelong romances take time, a real much longer time. Learn to love love yourself better.

DaRkAnGeL'S WoRdS oF WiSdOm :

"Modesty is to merit what shadow is to the figures in a picture; it gives accent and strength."

Not Blogging Today... Sorry To All Readers.

What a thing to happen! Having another asthma attack and wheezing badly. So can't blog. Will be back next Monday. Cheers and happy weekend to all.

Living In The Present... I Like That!

Living in the present is like trying to balance on "the present's tiny point" in toes shoes. Falling into the future or the past is always a more-than-likely possibility. In the past, when I heard beautiful words about living in the present, I would generally think, "Well, this living in the present is a beautiful sentiment, and ... it's not really a practical reality." I would feel please with myself for valuing the sentiment of living in the present and yet I would keep doing what I had been doing.

Then suddenly today - I got it! I realized that living in the present is not an idea. It's reality. It's like taking one step at a time. Sounds good. Was actually having a similar conversation with a friend of mine couple of days ago. He was telling me to take life from here as it is. Not to prognosticate into the future just yet, not to expect anything but live for the moment and enjoy every minute I can. And what the future had in store for us will be a pleasant surprise as good things come to those who are patient enough to wait. He mentioned that we should enjoy the present and take one day at a time and if it's meant to be, things will happen. As of now, I am trying to take it in and look forward to the light at the end of the tunnel, be it that will be a pleasant sight or not.

Good philosophy, right? It also occurred to me. Have you ever tried to take two steps at a time? We can't. It's as simple as that : we just can't. It's the same with living in the present. Our thoughts are just thoughts. Our bodies are in the present. We are in the present. That's just the way it is.

DaRkAnGeL's WoRdS oF WiSdOm :

"The past has flown away. The coming month and year do not exist. Ours only is the present's tiny point."

What's Important

A long and tiring day. Good enough as I managed to complete most if not all that's on my plate. And even better, a friend of mine was online keeping me company with the chats. Though he's a distance away (Canada), he never fail to make me laugh and get my moods up. Went to gym and had a great workout. Met up with my gal friend and all these little silly talks & laughs ends my day on a peaceful note. That is good enough. And I definitely think it's important to have this little perks for life to be more bearable.

There are many ways to look at what's important in life. What's essential, however, is to let ourselves see what's important. To some, could be power, financial satisfaction and not to forget, love. For me, spiritual intelligence is vital. No matter how we conceptualize what's important for ourselves, the concept of balance is always in there someplace.

We need to live in our physical world. That's our reality. so, we need to find, build and develop a physical reality in which we can live, thrive, grow and learn. Making our own peculiar, comfortable nest is essential for us. Yet, this process of creating our physical reality will never be satisfying for us if it is at the expense of our second reality : the creation of ourselves.

Just as some of my friends told me. That I have been so immersed in my work that I probably should settle down and let my the other half share the burden of this stress. Not that I have someone there I really wish to share my life with, but, thinking the possibility of "losing" myself seems like a big gamble I have to take if I decided on this option. Thus, I rather convince myself to find my direction on my own. At least, I have myself to answer to only if anything should go awry.

As mentioned, the creation of ourselves demands that we go deep within, facing our demons, our fears, exploring our depths and soaring with our infiniteness. We need the balance. And definitely with me as no exception. Until the right one comes along, I will consider myself staying put in this department. Have seen too much, been there and done that. So whoever is contemplative, like me, do consider some of such factors for deliberation.

DaRkAnGeL'S WoRdS oF WiSdOm :

"It is not doing the thing we like to do, but liking the thing we have to do. That make life blessed."

Everydayness...

Someone used to tell me (and is still telling me) that she envy my life. I simply can't understand what's there really to cause that. Maybe I am ignorant or maybe I am just not there to appreciate it. Life isn't so much a bed of roses to me too. Yes, I have a stable job, not falling short of attention from people and definitely a character and personality many would not choose to demean.

Still, I am meticulously counting my days, counting down to the day I can lead the life I want. Looking forward to the day I need not see misery of others and being not mentally exhausted. The day I can be enlightened and look forward to the time I can be - "alone". Don't get me wrong, I am not saying I want to be a hermit and die without anyone with me. I hoped, just like many other girls had, find someone out there who can understand me, without me needing to explain in great depths. Just that, at the moment, it just don't seem to be possible. My life evolve around others, just not mine. I just don't seem to be able to stand on with time and stay focus. Simply too tired... too much effort, I guessed. Or maybe, the right one is yet to make his grand entrance. Before all these happens, seeking enlightenment will my ultimate goal now.

When we seek enlightenment and balance, we must look to the ordinary. It is the awareness of our presence in every little thing we do that brings balance. Life lived with one constant adrenaline high after another is exhausting, stressful and unreal. To approach the depth of life, one must be immersed in it. Only in our full participation in the little things can we hope to approach the infinite.

All too often we go for the adrenaline high to give us the illusion that we are alive and experiencing something meaningful. Whether it is at work, in sports or in romance, the adrenaline high is the illusion. Reality is found in the everyday routine of life. If that can't even be satisfied, what more is there to say?

No task is too small. Our presence and participation are what make the difference. For me, I am putting every effort to get involved. So much so, I frequently get out of sync. It's not easy to understand me, not even myself can be up to it. But again, making comprehension of all these people in this fantastic world is an equally daunting task. I wish, one day, I get my fair share of life too. If not in this world, another will be just fine. So, you who are part of my world, be it now or before, read this and exercise some efforts to understand this person here. I believe I do not possess the acumen to be an expert in this area of life.


DaRkAnGeL'S WoRdS oF WiSdOm :

"I claim not to have controlled people's lives, but confess plainly that lives of others have controlled me. That is a blatant fact."

~ DaRkAnGeL'S PsALm oF LifE ~

"Lives of great men all remind us
We can make our lives sublime,
And, departing, leave behind us
Footprints in the sands of time.

Let us, then, be up and doing,
With a heart for any fate;
Still achieving, still pursuing,
Learn to labour and to wait."

Lost Perspectives...

Once upon a time, I was this girl, full of aspirations and zeal. Taking Law is never my intend altogether, my interest - War Journalism. But all the same I went ahead, since my Dad was not keen on me doing that because it's too much of risk. Now, I am totally "lost". Getting out of my job proves to be too difficult, as I have discussed with people around me. Staying put will temporary be my only option. But I am undaunted. I won't put myself down because of my job. I may have lost my perspective then. But now it's my turn to move on. I will definitely put my best strike for my job, duty of care, that is. But I will start looking for my "paradise" too.

Looking back, I realised how easy for me to lose my perspective when we are under stress and duress. Just when we most need support & help, we often decide to focus doggedly on the task at hand. We look neither left or right. We take on the characteristics of a tyrant, expecting everything in our evironment to modify itself around what we are doing. Probably we became more complacent than needed. Suddenly, we and our work become the center of the Universe and we are often truly surprised when others don't see "reality" the same way we do.

Just when we need other input the most, we isolate, pull into ourselves and develop a laser like focuson what has to be done. This is when we need to stop, call friends together and get a reality check. For me, I do more than that. I will get myself a distraction as well. Such are great for getting back perspectives.

DaRkAnGeL's WoRdS oF WiSdOm :

"There is no work in the world so toilsome as that of pursuing fame & power; life is over before the main part of your work has begun. When we do the best that we can, we never know what miracle is wrought in our life or more important in the life of another "

Turning To & Not Onto Others...

Time really wheezes by. It's coming to almost 3 months since I am back. I can't say more to all that happened and will still be happening around us. Our lives evolves around the same issues, so much so, we start to take advantage of blessings that comes & goes. Things and situations could be so excacerbated and intensified over time. But still I have to appreciate all those who choose to still be around me and be my friends. No matter what happens, this will always be and never be altered. I love my friends as they are as much as I can. But I am human after all. Push me to the edge & I have to back off. Can't expect me to be perfect & flawless though I put in my best effort to be understanding. So, I hope you can understand my outburst.

We are all busy people in our own ways. Be it for work or for family. Very often we do not have time to the time to deal with the feelings that build up in a normal, hectic day in a normal and hectic world. And yet our feelings are such precious gift. They tell us when something is not quite right. They provide us with the quick, instantaneous, surprising moments of joy in an otherwise gray day.; they alert us and let us know of the love that we feel for those around us; and they let us knowof danger and the need to be cautious.

Unfortunately, we have not been given the focused training, be it by our parents or schools, to enable us to deal with our feelings the way we have been trained to deal with our minds. When feelings built up inside of us, we tend to dump them on the ones nearest and dearest to us, feeling sorry later. I often try to think and ponder about the effect on others and try to lead my mind to a void, a space where I can search for my authentic self. There I will cool down and embrace the peace Iknow will get me transform - back to the loving and caring self. We can definitely do something about these behaviours and we will feel better about ourselves.

Be it for anyone, there's never a point of ne return. As friends we learn and grow together. All's well now and will be in time to come. No point running up the negative atmostphere. There's no such thing of ending friendship. Friends don't break off from each other. True friends stays together. They may be distant but never that at heart.


DaRkAnGeL'S WoRdS oF WiSdOm :

"It doesn't matter what things you pray for - it's always better to pray for people. It's always good to practise random acts of kindness and senseless act of beauty."

Exhaustion...

Finally! Tomorrow will be my last lesson of my last module. Still having much to do - conceptual plan, proposal, business manual... . Still it's good to know it's ending. I am so exhausted, juggling work with the course.

Asking myself, when was the last time I gave in to exhaustion? When was the last time I had a good time giving in to exhaustion? To me, exhaustion is not a personal attack on our bodies and nerves. Exhaustion is a natural consequence of living at the pace that most of us live. When we see exhaustion as natural, we don't get so angry with it. When we see it as a loving warning given by our body and spirit, we can let go of our resistance and give in to feeling exhausted.

There are just times when our head is tired, our muscles are tired and our being and soul are tired. I usually don't get sick. I will definitely try. Just be exhausted. Laze, lounge, veg, sleep and indulge. Recharge. Balance will slowly creep back into your life.

DaRkAnGeL'S WoRdS oF WiSdOm :

"Life is so constructed that we never get caught up. May the great mystery make sunrise in your heart."

Anger...

Anger is such a powerful, wonderful emotion. It's a pity that we waste it on those we love when we could do so much more with it. Anger and all of our other emotions are gifts that we have been given to open doors into deeper and deeper levels of ourselves and our consciousness. Emotions and feelings are the pathways beyond the rational, thinking mind that lead us to levels of spirituality not readily accessed. Anger is not a "negative emotion". It's what we do with our anger that's important. If we randomly dump it on others, we are not quite likely to get a backlash, we are probably going to feel bad about ourselves.

Actually, anger probably has little or nothing to do with those near and dear to us. The coward in us has taken the easy way out, dumping on those closest to us instead of gearing up our courage and facing off with it ourselves. Anger often simmers up in us as a warning, a signal that we need to pay attention to our internal life. If we don't, anger will wreak havoc on our external lives. Anger is a warning light, to go into ourselves. It is a glowing signal breaking through the shroud of darkness we have fashioned in our lives. Anger often offers an opportunity to learn something about ourselves, to use the blade of our wrath to plow the field of our learning rather than to strike down those we love. Anger should be our friend when we honor it and don't dump it on others.

Lashing out when we are angry can be detrimental to ourselves and others. Holding our tempers in can be detrimental to ourselves and others as well. We need a sfe place or at least a safe method to vent our anger, releasing it in a way that it is not directed at ourselves or anyone else. For me, I will try to release it through a good workout at the gym. If not go seek a retreat or spend your time with friends over a good dinner. That's what I did today. Definitely better than causing a temper detonation.

Just like what had happened today. My fuse has been lit. It's not really easy for me to get carried off by anger. I have learnt the art of detachment and to touch the tip of my nerves is really not an easy feat. I almost (maybe I did) blow my top. It may sound scary. Everyone along my path can feel the change of aura. But, I managed. I emerged as the victor as I arrest my temper. So, who ever is reading, please do a self check.

When we come into control and cease to be manipulated by our tempers, when we cease to have the need to justify it and we cease to spew it, we have the possibility to see it as the door that it is and let it take us down that dim path that leads to the light of spirituality and wisdom.May sound complicated but making the effort to try is worth the cause. The next time you feel angry, don't spew it. Welcome your anger and let it take you through and beyond feelings that may need to be healed to places of light.


DaRkAnGeL'S WoRdS oF WiSdOm :

"Anger is a symptom, a way of cloaking and expressing deep feelings too awful to experience directly - hurt, bitter, grief and most of all fear. arrest it before it's too late."

Chaos!

Today was a mad, mad chaotic day. My 1st day at class for my last module. But I was so engrossed - not with the trainer's speech. I was punching furiously on my 2 phones, replying emails, SMS and phone calls, making arranements for my work and with the clients. Most if not all are from office. I can't believe it I was like replying something like 2 dozen emails and countless SMS. By 3pm, my 2 phones are almost flat! Ridiculous it may sound, but it's true. Everything is so chaotic! Not too bad at all. I managed through the day.

According to what I perceived correct, Swedenborg was one of the early chaos theorists. If we really want balance in our lives, we need to be able to accept, tolerate and even embrace chaos. All too often, we find ourselves trying to put together things that fit badly. Two woods that cure at different rates and in different and in different ways, for example, don't do well when laminated together. All too often we want to believe that love is enough to hold together two people who are headed in very different directions. Sometimes, out of self -will and stubborness, we try to hold on to a job that we know deep down we don't even like or maybe getting us all burned out.

We refuse the severing and the resulting chaos and as a consequence miss the possible resultant order that "God arranges." When we lear to see chaos as a precursor of order, we are making progress. When chaos prevails, ask yourself if you can see it as a movement towards balance.

DaRkAnGeL'S WoRdS oF WiSdOm :

"Before anything is brought back into order, it is quite normal for it to be brought first into a kind of confusion, a virtue chaos. In this way, things that fit together badly are affected and severed from each other; and when they have been severed, the God arranges them in order."

Procrastination

Finally! The 2nd module is finished. Will be going for my last module next week. Looking back, I suddenly realised that it has been a month since I finished my 1st and my deadline is drawing closer. 2 more months to complete my assignment and proposal! I came to realised that I have not started anything at all. I have been procrastinating and putting things off which are screaming for completion. Sigh... how I wish I have more time. I was asked by the lecturer and I turned red but decided to tell a white lie that I have alreaady started on it. How I wished!

It happened to all of us. Maybe tomorrow. The truth is that we can procrastinate about anything - even about telling the truth. Procrastination is one of the great imbalancers. We become so paralyzed by analyzing what might be possible or not possible, what the consequences may or may not be, what we can do or not do, that we move into a kind of paralysis that completely immobilizes us.

We look for salvation in the proper time, the proper timing, the proper way or the proper setting, thereby avoiding any action that might alter our paralysis. Although we may become accustomed to procrastination, we may never become easy with it. Its very nature is to nag, tease, disturb and haunt. Procrastination is not our friend. We have to do our best to refrain from it.


DaRkAnGeL'S WoRdS oF WiSdOm :

"In solitude we give passionate attention to our lives, to our memories and to the details around us."

Taking A Break...

What a long & tiresome day. Whole day attending course. I can hardly keep my mind focus after lunch. Took a triple shot expresso and that managed to hang me there till 5. Totally exhausted and drained. So, will take a break from blogging today. Sorry for that. Will do so tomorrow. Thanks to all who are incessantly providing me with the topics of interest. Thanks again for all the support and comments also. We shall meet again. Cheers!

DaRkAnGeL'S WoRdS oF WiSdOm :

"There are but three events which concern mankind; birth, life and death. All know nothing of their birth, all submit to die and many forget to live. Don't be a victim of such accusations and live life to the fullest before regret creeps in."

Responsibility...

One of the burdens that we people who do too much put on ourselves is feeling responsible for everything. Actually, one of our favorite dualisms - one on which we painfully dance - is that on one end we are responsible for everything, with the weight of the world resting on our shoulders while at the other end, we want to chuck it all, head for the woods & even live in a cave. Like most dualisms, neither extremes seems too appealing. This dualism teeters on the fulcrum of self-centeredness.

Came to know a good friend frustrations and dilemmas at work. Somehow and something gone wrong and responsibilities were pushed around. Naturally the best way to put the blame on others. Feeling the stress and unfairness and yet can't resolve the problem. But no matter whose fault it lies on, responsibility should be share and the burden of blame shouldn't be place on just one soul. But again, how many will be magnanimous enough to stand up and own up? Definitely not the expense of his / her position.

Just the same, when we realize that we are responsible for what we do and need to take ownership for our thoughts, actions and behaviours and realize a the same time that we do not control everything, we can relax a bit. What more can we do? So, just do the best and then let go. Somehow we can count on karma to catch up for the "blamer". It will be the calling. That's how the Universal Law of Attraction works.


DaRkAnGeL'S WoRdS oF WisDoM :

"There is a quiet, serene confidence in knowing that all things do not stand or fall according to one's own achievements or the correctness of every decision one makes."

Regret Or Courage...

This blog is probably be for my long-time friend. Someone who has been really close to me. And I would definitely say what I have done has caused him hurt and pain. Nothing I would or can do is capable of regression. Time can't be turn back and all has to move on. But that doesn't mean I don't care anymore. Remember, you who is reading this, has taken a big space in my heart and I will never forgive myself if you fail to enjoy life better than you ever have.

My regrets are mine. You don't need to remind me again. Whatever I have done to cause regret, I did it myself. I may have been pushed by others and circumstances have prodded me hard. Yet, when all is said and done, I am the one who acted or did not act and that is my reality. Often we kept our lives imbalance by trying to blame others for our actions and decisions. There are as many forms of "He/she/they made me do it" as there are stars in the sky. Unfortunately, we fail to realize in the "others made me do it" stance is that in this process we give our powers away by the truckload and then bemoan that we feel put upon.

It takes courage to own our behaviours and take responsibility for out actions. It takes courage to stand up and say that we made the decsion and regret it. Therefore, we have to make do and put our best foot forward to face it. It takes courage to admit to our personal regrets, owned them as fully as we can and salvage and do rectifications accordingly. Yet when we do, the magickal door of inner personal freedom and power is suddenly before us.

I am, but human too. I do possessed regrets that almost collaspe me, a classic example to all. I went through the "hard time". I managed to "climb" out of it. So, can you. Be brave.


DaRkAnGeL'S WoRdS oF WiSdOm :

"Defer not till tomorrow to be wise. Tomorrow's sun to thee may never rise. Be brave! Wait not any act that deems fit, but put our best shot forward even if that's for longer just that bit"

I was chatting with some of my friends today over dinner, talking about the mirror to ourselves. Many a time we can't see what we do, more like we can only identify others and start pointing out and criticizing others for their shortcomings. We won't be able to come to terms when it comes to our turn to be pointed out. How we hate to be seen! In fact, one of the most common fears we have - though it is generally voiced very carefully, if at all - is that someone will see through us or see something about us that we ourselves don't know.

Very often, we want to control how others see us and even more so what they see in us. We want to believe that we are the masters of our identity and that we do, indeed, know more about ourselves more than anyone else can possibly know. Well, we have a little bit of the truth here.

We are capable of knowing morre about ourselves than anyone else. And there are thing we know and can know about ourselves that no one else can possibly know. And we are surrounded by mirrors. People are the mirrors of our lives. Friends, love ones, family and all are the best mirrors we can have. One of the reason they are there is to reflect our blind spots so we can push beyond our own limited self-knowledge and expand our learning about ourselves. We may not always like this process, and we may not always like what we see. That's alright. Both are still important.

Remember, we are mirrors for others too. Being open to this process balances it. The more we let others see us , the more we can learn abt ourselves.

DaRkAnGeLs'S WoRdS oF WiSdOm :

"It is very easy to forgive others their mistakes; it takes more grit and gumption to forgive them for having witnessed your own."

Having Fun...

Great fun with my gang! It was a gorgeous meet-up. Feels wonderful especially after a hard & stressful day at work. Hanging out at Bliss doing nothing except munch, drink, talking about guys & laughing our heads off. Guessed the tables around are probably annoyed with our ruckus. Don't think we actually care anyway. It was a long time since we logged on to another hangout place besides United Square.

It was really unbelievable especially for me. We ate so much that poor Ray, who was repeatedly offered a ride home actually, chose to walk home instead, which, will take him for at least 30minutes (or maybe more) just to burn off his "love handles". As if that can happen overnight. Good try though. You know I will not prefer you overweight. Well anyway, with all the cold drinks, it's quite imminent that the three of us have to be prepared for asthma attack tonight. Mine, already started last night.

Not going to have a serious topic today. Just highlighting to all that everyone of us should have such winding down time, letting our hair loose. Good fun and definitely very nourishing to our friendship. Missing Ariel though. But we all know that you are busy with your work and the deadline is drawing close. Not to worry, the next time we will drag you out for sure. You will not have any excuse by then.

DaRkAnGeL'S WoRds oF WiSdOm :

"Work is not always required... there is such a thing as sacred as idleness, the cultivation of which is now fearfully neglected."

Blame...

Isn't this the most convenient thing to do when things screwed up, when our life run into disarray? In a world of psychological "reasons" of why this or that happened and why are we the way we are, it is anything but easy not to blame others (any others!) for what is wrong with us or with our life. But ever try stopping to do a self checklist? Never an easy task. Simply because of out pride and ego. But these are also responsible for the flood gates to more problems occurring in anyone's life.

We can spend so many years believing that we never had a chancebecause of the many reasons we provided ourselves with or unfortunate life circumstances that we continually end up blaming someone - anyone, be it parents, loved ones, husband, friends and so on - for our lot in life. We may hold some deep-rooted belief that if we can prove we have been fairly treated, then we are absolved from dealing with others fairly. Each thought or word of blame we think or utter reduces the quantum of "fairness" residing within us. If we are not careful, we may draw upon our fair play pool so much that we have little reserves left. This will also be the time when regret is too late. There may be no or little chance for turning back.

Don't despair! Fair play reservoirs are easily replenished All we have to do is to re-examine our ways, alter our ego and quit blaming others for what is wrong with us or our life and quit feeding our thinking alond these lines. You will be pleasantly surprised by how things start to move and turn better. It's amazing how modeling fair play elicits a like response in others.

DaRkAnGeL'S WoRdS oF WiSdOm :

"Fair play is primarily not blaming others for anything that is wrong with us." Don't complicate. The ability to simplify means to eliminate the unnecessary so that the necessary may speak."

ChAnGeS....

There's the problem! Unfortunately, some of us may not live long enough to learn this lesson! It's so easy to see what is wrong "out there" and expand all our energies trying to change people, places and things (and keeping terribly busy doing it!), never taking the time to see how we need to change ourselves to make our lives and the lives of those around us better.

After we have expended our energies on the impossible, we have the oppportunity in the quiet of exhaustion to see what is possible. Often what is possible in even the worst of circumstances is changing & shifting our attitude & perspective. When we do that, doors begin to open that were not even visible to us before.

Just with a quote of example, after hearing from many, I was often presented with lots of scenarios. While friends of mine are struggling through relationship problems, I am glad that I was spared of the excruciating cruelty. Think again on that, I may not have practise what I preached. For me, I will never be able to accept stagnation as far as relationship is concerned. So, it is one to hope & aspire for the ideal relationship. But what's ideal now is not going to stay ideal forever. We have to face it when reality bites. Cruel it may seemed, but that's life. Rectify now or get to regret it later. It's a do it or lose it. Talk it out now or forever hold your peace. There's no staying within the shadow. Take charge of your life and you will end up with new new possibilities.

We humans are so dear. We often take forever to see the obvious and we often get quite bloody in the process. Nonetheless, I am, too classified as one stubborn individual (as according to those around me). So good luck to all.


DaRkAnGeL's WoRdS oF WiSdOm :

"There is a guidance for each of us and by lowly listening we shall hear the right word... Place yourself in the middle of the stream of power which flows into your life. Then without effort, you are impelled to the truth and to perfect contentment."

Patterns Of Life

What an evening! Work & gym and finished off with a great dinner. Thousand apologies to my dear friend as he's not too much of a herbivore. Haha! What a disappointed face he put up when I suggested salad. We are what we eat after all and too much meat destroy the balance of the ecology. Not bothered about having gym for more than 2 hours, I am not letting my diet go waste. Eat right & exercise well is what I want. As he proclaimed he is always tied down by work and time is defintely of an essence in his busy schedule and I am definitely someone who's in control of my life. You can bet on that!

Hmm... control for your life. How many of us can maintain that? Often we are so busy participating in life that we never take a look at the larger picture. Even more often, we have set up our lives at such a hectic pace and are so over-extended that we are not actually participating in life. We are being driven by a life that we have constructed in such a way as to be sure to miss out on what life is really about.

No matter who we are or how we live our lives, all of us can benefit from taking some time to stop, back off from busyness and perceive our lives from a larger perspective.

We don't have time, you say? Nonsense! We can take the time. The choice is always ours. We need time when we can disengage for a day, a week or even a month to get an eagle-eyed view of what we are doing and what we are all about. Living consciously is one of the greatest gifts we can give ourselves. We can definitely treat ourselves better.

DaRkAnGeL'S WoRdS oF WiSdOm :

"All is pattern, all life, but we can't always see the pattern when we are part of it."

Marriage / Intimate Relationships

Balance in a marriage or other intimate relationship is never achieve by trying to get the relationship just the way you want it & then keeping it that way you want it & then keeping it that way. According to my understanding, I may be wrong, you tell me. Marriage is a process in which each spouse has the option of participating. When we try to build the relationship to some "finished" state & then keep it static there, we are inviting death into what should be moving, changing process. The only way to keep a process that we truly care about alive is to participate in it. Balance is participation. A good marriage merges participation with forgiveness & caring. Stasis has no place here - be it marriage or an intimate relationship one shares.

Happened to know many who feel trapped within the marriage they once perceived as perfect. But once things get stagnant, the couple start drifting. As time elapsed, no one do anything and things start falling apart and the family unit begin to collapse. This very often results in a breakup. Rather than making progress to correct & rectify, many will just lapse into non-participation.

When we truly participate, approaching the relationship out of our spirituality, we feel love. When we move out of our spirituality, miracles are possible.

DaRkAnGeL'S WoRdS oF WiSdOm :

"It takes a really long time to be really married. One marries many times at many levels within a marriage. If you have more marriages than you have divorces within the marriage, you are lucky."

Talking... too much or too little?

It's really hard to get it right. We are often told to be assertive and put ourselves out there to get anywhere in this world, and then, J. Allen Boone tells us that talking unwisely and frugally can drain our power away. I often observe this golden teaching, but what's a person to do? I rather be with someone who can gauge & determine the right thing to do to the right person. Talking with moderation & understanding. Especially guys. Talking unnecessary and "wrongfully" will definitely jeopardise the possible good impression.

Learning the art and power of active silence is an art well worth the time it takes to learn it. Have you ever been in a group of people where everyone was just chattering away, trying to be seen and get their point across when the words of one previously silent person left the other speechless? Hilarious! I was told rather often to have provided such surprise. Appalling to some even!

Perhaps our power does leak out when our focus is not where it should be. When we talk wisely and frugally, we don't have much to say, so every word counts. When our silence is confused, self-centered or controlling, we have little to add. When we give our power away by focusing on others, we leak power. This is so much often I observed to be happening.

We can learn ways of participating in silence and ways of being meaningful when we speak. None of us wants to be an "unnecessary noise" and each of us has that potential.

DaRkAnGeL'S WoRdS oF WiSdOm :

"I have learned that the great challenge of life is to decide what's important and to disregard everything else."

Understanding With Our Hearts

My mom is a natural healer to people & I love her to bits. (FYI, she doesn't read my blogs) She always try to teach me that we can never completely understand another person, even between lovers, though we can accept that they have their reasons. She didn't interpret. She didn't analyse or figue out. She "understood" with her heart.

Over the year, I have come to see how destructive it is to interpret another person. The arrogance, judgementalism & harshness of interpretation go a long way towards destroying relationships. I, am one exemplary role to attest to that. Even when our interpretations make sense & are based on "facts", they may have absolutely nothing to do with genuine reality.

When we analyse or try to figure out other people, we have made them an object to observe. We have left behind our oneness, our connectedness with them, our family, loved ones & friends; we have elevated ourselves above them & become uncaring. When we understand with our heart, we see that others have "reasons" we aren't privy to that lie behind their behaviours. We can care for them as people like ourselves - people who are struggling to learn from life.

I was often seen by many as arrogant & isolating. But I am just being confident. It's a harsh world & dwells harsher people. My guards are definitely up. But then, still, we have to tread with care. Love still rules, I guess. I am trying to change for the better. Hope I can still be given the opportunity to transform. And you should too.

DaRkAnGeL'S WoRdS oF WisDoM :

"Today's success comes with many disappointments & failures. Never denounce nor fear the past which has served up a great deal of learning & wisdom."

Feelings... What A Wonderful Ability

Had another great workout today! Run, Spin Class & Zumba. Super fun & exhilarating! Spin was great. Totally drenched when done & my legs were almost reduced to jello. This gay instructor was damn good. But bloody strenuous. Zumba was really good. Panting away. But I do dislike being teased by the instructor, especially one with a hot bod! Hahaha! Anyway, it's a great session altogether. He's harmless and terribly friendly nonetheless. And he's really funny! Was feeling kind of moodless & frustrated the whole day. Met up my rather interesting friend for dinner after gym. Chat & wine. All's rounded off on a happier note. Feeling perked up again!

Let's hear it for feelings! Feelings are the doors through which we have to go to reach beyond ourselves. Many of us has been taught we can't trust our feelings, and this has thrown us out of balance with ourselves & with our connection with our spirituality & with the world. We cannot reach our spirituality through our minds. The mind "thinks about" the spiritual, whereas our feelings "experience" the spiritual. Both our minds & our feelings enrich our knowledge of our spiritual selves. We can reach spirituality with our feelings alone. Our minds by themselves can only find abstract concepts.

If we spend as much time enriching our feelings & our relationship with them as we do enriching our minds, imagine what would happen! Start working with your feelings. Honor them. When you feel something, notice it; assume it is there for a very good reason & let yourself truly feel it. Start to notice those small tinges that are the precursors to full-fledged feelings.


DaRkAnGeL'S WoRdS oF WiSdOm :

"The past can't be changed, but you can alter & make correction. Worse will it be if one dwells on past with the knowledge that the rightful decision has been wrongfully made. The future is still in your power. Don't ever think of giving up!"

Standing Out... Am I Guilty Or what?

How dangerous it is to be excellent and attractive! We live in a world where mediocrity means safety. Women, especially (includes myself) that it is very dangerous to stick our heads above the crown. There are always others who would like to take a swig at any target. 2 groups of guys actually when dealing with this complex game of "mouse & cat". One will create all sorts of chances for themselves sparing no opportunities for failure and the 2nd group of those who backed down after sensing danger & strong competition.

Recently, someone I know has ended her relationship with her boyfriend. She became too stressed out, snapped and just sort of detached herself & left for a good period of time. Somehow, news gotten out when she returned. The guys came swooping down on her. She was humored at 1st. But after almost 2 months of running & evading, she's game. Exhausted in fact, adding on with the toil of her stressful job, she's not giving in anymore to any nonsensical demands or unwarranted attention. To many who thinks this is flattering, but in actuality, it could be quite frustrating & very often led to exasperation. So, guys, leave some space ok? Don't persist with such daunting demands as I can say. Align yourself with Mahatma Ghandi's passive ideology.

Somewhere, somehow, we have learned that the safest position we can take is back, down low. We sit on our power and try not to let others (even ourselves) see it. We may have the illusion of safety and the feeling of being a clogged-up sewer pipe.That's my advice to her.

Claiming our power maybe dangerous, and... it sure is fun.

DaRkAnGeL'S WoRdS oF WiSdOm :

"I have not ceased being fearful, but I have ceased to let fear take control of me. I have accepted fear as part of my life - specifically the fear of change, the fear of the unknown; and I have gone ahead despite the frantic pounding in my heart that says : Turn back, turn back, you'll die, alone , if you venture too far. The choice is made. There's no turning back."

UseFuL LiViNg...

I am so tired!!! God! I thought I should have recharged. I can't believe it. Finished my lesson yesterday, went for a coffee with my course mates & a drink with my new friend, after a few drinks, I was concussed. Wouldn't consider myself such a lousy drinker. Yet I was knocked out by the time I got home. Start early today with a frenzy, meetings & clients. Still, I managed to finish part of my work, looked through new ones & start the plannings. Not to forget my course work. Sometimes, I really wonder. If I am living to my full potentials. If I have utilised well my time. When will I see the end... Still, I guess I have live usefully.

If we were to get too busy for useful living, we will be in trouble. We maybe rushing around looking very busy. We may be overburdened, overworked & over-extended, but, are we useful? Is it useful to us? When our experience of our work is that it contribute it contributes to useful living, no matter what it is, we feel good about ourselves.

When we get frantic & do too much, we lose sight of meaning. Undder these circumstances, the doing replaces the meaning. The job suffers and we suffer. We get caught up in a cycle of doing for doing's sake and the importance of making a contribution gets lost.

DaRkAnGeL'S WoRdS oF WiSdOm :

"I believe that any man's life will be filled with constant, unexpected encouragements... if he makes up his mind to do his level best each day of his life - that is, tries to make each day reach as nearly as possible the high water mark of pure, unselfish useful living."

Learning To Create Boundaries

Finally! I finished my course! So exhausting! At least I can recharge before the next one. Sometimes, I wonder how I can push myself this way. But somehow, I am also feeling the stretch. Thus, some limits have to be set. Feel my physic beingdangling at the edge. Mentally much withdrawn.

Limits are the barbed wire of real life. Boundaries are split-rail fences. When you push past limits, personal or professional, there's a good chance of being pricked as you hurtle up & over. But boundaries set apart the Sacred with simple grace. There's always enough room to maneuver between the rails if you are willing to bend.

We want our lives to feel limitless, so we must learn the art of creating boundaries that protect, nurture and sustain all we cherish. For most of us, creating boundaries is excruciating, so we don't do it until we are pushed to the outer edge of tolerance. To create boundaries we must learn to say, 'thus far and no further'. This means speaking up. Expressing our needs. Indicating our preferences. These moments are tense nd can easily escalate into confrontations complete with tears, misunderstandings and hurt feelings. This is why many stay quiet, rendered virtually mute by unexpressed rage and unable to articulate any needs at all. But even we are mute, we are not powerless to draw a line in the sand.

Whenever we deny our need to say 'no', our self respect diminishes. It is not only our right at certain times to say 'no'; it is our deepest responsibility. For it is a gift to ourselves when we say 'no' to those old habits that dissipate our energy, 'no' to what robs us of our inner joy, ;no' to what distracts us from our purpose. And it is a gift to others to say 'no' when their expectations do not ring true for us, for in doing, we free them to discover more fully the truth of their own path. Saying 'no' can be liberating when it expresses our commitment to take a stand for what we believe we truly need.

DaRkAnGeL'S WoRdS oF WiSdOm :

"Before I built a wall, I'd ask to know. What I was walling in or walling out."