Procrastination

Finally! The 2nd module is finished. Will be going for my last module next week. Looking back, I suddenly realised that it has been a month since I finished my 1st and my deadline is drawing closer. 2 more months to complete my assignment and proposal! I came to realised that I have not started anything at all. I have been procrastinating and putting things off which are screaming for completion. Sigh... how I wish I have more time. I was asked by the lecturer and I turned red but decided to tell a white lie that I have alreaady started on it. How I wished!

It happened to all of us. Maybe tomorrow. The truth is that we can procrastinate about anything - even about telling the truth. Procrastination is one of the great imbalancers. We become so paralyzed by analyzing what might be possible or not possible, what the consequences may or may not be, what we can do or not do, that we move into a kind of paralysis that completely immobilizes us.

We look for salvation in the proper time, the proper timing, the proper way or the proper setting, thereby avoiding any action that might alter our paralysis. Although we may become accustomed to procrastination, we may never become easy with it. Its very nature is to nag, tease, disturb and haunt. Procrastination is not our friend. We have to do our best to refrain from it.


DaRkAnGeL'S WoRdS oF WiSdOm :

"In solitude we give passionate attention to our lives, to our memories and to the details around us."

Taking A Break...

What a long & tiresome day. Whole day attending course. I can hardly keep my mind focus after lunch. Took a triple shot expresso and that managed to hang me there till 5. Totally exhausted and drained. So, will take a break from blogging today. Sorry for that. Will do so tomorrow. Thanks to all who are incessantly providing me with the topics of interest. Thanks again for all the support and comments also. We shall meet again. Cheers!

DaRkAnGeL'S WoRdS oF WiSdOm :

"There are but three events which concern mankind; birth, life and death. All know nothing of their birth, all submit to die and many forget to live. Don't be a victim of such accusations and live life to the fullest before regret creeps in."

Responsibility...

One of the burdens that we people who do too much put on ourselves is feeling responsible for everything. Actually, one of our favorite dualisms - one on which we painfully dance - is that on one end we are responsible for everything, with the weight of the world resting on our shoulders while at the other end, we want to chuck it all, head for the woods & even live in a cave. Like most dualisms, neither extremes seems too appealing. This dualism teeters on the fulcrum of self-centeredness.

Came to know a good friend frustrations and dilemmas at work. Somehow and something gone wrong and responsibilities were pushed around. Naturally the best way to put the blame on others. Feeling the stress and unfairness and yet can't resolve the problem. But no matter whose fault it lies on, responsibility should be share and the burden of blame shouldn't be place on just one soul. But again, how many will be magnanimous enough to stand up and own up? Definitely not the expense of his / her position.

Just the same, when we realize that we are responsible for what we do and need to take ownership for our thoughts, actions and behaviours and realize a the same time that we do not control everything, we can relax a bit. What more can we do? So, just do the best and then let go. Somehow we can count on karma to catch up for the "blamer". It will be the calling. That's how the Universal Law of Attraction works.


DaRkAnGeL'S WoRdS oF WisDoM :

"There is a quiet, serene confidence in knowing that all things do not stand or fall according to one's own achievements or the correctness of every decision one makes."

Regret Or Courage...

This blog is probably be for my long-time friend. Someone who has been really close to me. And I would definitely say what I have done has caused him hurt and pain. Nothing I would or can do is capable of regression. Time can't be turn back and all has to move on. But that doesn't mean I don't care anymore. Remember, you who is reading this, has taken a big space in my heart and I will never forgive myself if you fail to enjoy life better than you ever have.

My regrets are mine. You don't need to remind me again. Whatever I have done to cause regret, I did it myself. I may have been pushed by others and circumstances have prodded me hard. Yet, when all is said and done, I am the one who acted or did not act and that is my reality. Often we kept our lives imbalance by trying to blame others for our actions and decisions. There are as many forms of "He/she/they made me do it" as there are stars in the sky. Unfortunately, we fail to realize in the "others made me do it" stance is that in this process we give our powers away by the truckload and then bemoan that we feel put upon.

It takes courage to own our behaviours and take responsibility for out actions. It takes courage to stand up and say that we made the decsion and regret it. Therefore, we have to make do and put our best foot forward to face it. It takes courage to admit to our personal regrets, owned them as fully as we can and salvage and do rectifications accordingly. Yet when we do, the magickal door of inner personal freedom and power is suddenly before us.

I am, but human too. I do possessed regrets that almost collaspe me, a classic example to all. I went through the "hard time". I managed to "climb" out of it. So, can you. Be brave.


DaRkAnGeL'S WoRdS oF WiSdOm :

"Defer not till tomorrow to be wise. Tomorrow's sun to thee may never rise. Be brave! Wait not any act that deems fit, but put our best shot forward even if that's for longer just that bit"

I was chatting with some of my friends today over dinner, talking about the mirror to ourselves. Many a time we can't see what we do, more like we can only identify others and start pointing out and criticizing others for their shortcomings. We won't be able to come to terms when it comes to our turn to be pointed out. How we hate to be seen! In fact, one of the most common fears we have - though it is generally voiced very carefully, if at all - is that someone will see through us or see something about us that we ourselves don't know.

Very often, we want to control how others see us and even more so what they see in us. We want to believe that we are the masters of our identity and that we do, indeed, know more about ourselves more than anyone else can possibly know. Well, we have a little bit of the truth here.

We are capable of knowing morre about ourselves than anyone else. And there are thing we know and can know about ourselves that no one else can possibly know. And we are surrounded by mirrors. People are the mirrors of our lives. Friends, love ones, family and all are the best mirrors we can have. One of the reason they are there is to reflect our blind spots so we can push beyond our own limited self-knowledge and expand our learning about ourselves. We may not always like this process, and we may not always like what we see. That's alright. Both are still important.

Remember, we are mirrors for others too. Being open to this process balances it. The more we let others see us , the more we can learn abt ourselves.

DaRkAnGeLs'S WoRdS oF WiSdOm :

"It is very easy to forgive others their mistakes; it takes more grit and gumption to forgive them for having witnessed your own."

Having Fun...

Great fun with my gang! It was a gorgeous meet-up. Feels wonderful especially after a hard & stressful day at work. Hanging out at Bliss doing nothing except munch, drink, talking about guys & laughing our heads off. Guessed the tables around are probably annoyed with our ruckus. Don't think we actually care anyway. It was a long time since we logged on to another hangout place besides United Square.

It was really unbelievable especially for me. We ate so much that poor Ray, who was repeatedly offered a ride home actually, chose to walk home instead, which, will take him for at least 30minutes (or maybe more) just to burn off his "love handles". As if that can happen overnight. Good try though. You know I will not prefer you overweight. Well anyway, with all the cold drinks, it's quite imminent that the three of us have to be prepared for asthma attack tonight. Mine, already started last night.

Not going to have a serious topic today. Just highlighting to all that everyone of us should have such winding down time, letting our hair loose. Good fun and definitely very nourishing to our friendship. Missing Ariel though. But we all know that you are busy with your work and the deadline is drawing close. Not to worry, the next time we will drag you out for sure. You will not have any excuse by then.

DaRkAnGeL'S WoRds oF WiSdOm :

"Work is not always required... there is such a thing as sacred as idleness, the cultivation of which is now fearfully neglected."

Blame...

Isn't this the most convenient thing to do when things screwed up, when our life run into disarray? In a world of psychological "reasons" of why this or that happened and why are we the way we are, it is anything but easy not to blame others (any others!) for what is wrong with us or with our life. But ever try stopping to do a self checklist? Never an easy task. Simply because of out pride and ego. But these are also responsible for the flood gates to more problems occurring in anyone's life.

We can spend so many years believing that we never had a chancebecause of the many reasons we provided ourselves with or unfortunate life circumstances that we continually end up blaming someone - anyone, be it parents, loved ones, husband, friends and so on - for our lot in life. We may hold some deep-rooted belief that if we can prove we have been fairly treated, then we are absolved from dealing with others fairly. Each thought or word of blame we think or utter reduces the quantum of "fairness" residing within us. If we are not careful, we may draw upon our fair play pool so much that we have little reserves left. This will also be the time when regret is too late. There may be no or little chance for turning back.

Don't despair! Fair play reservoirs are easily replenished All we have to do is to re-examine our ways, alter our ego and quit blaming others for what is wrong with us or our life and quit feeding our thinking alond these lines. You will be pleasantly surprised by how things start to move and turn better. It's amazing how modeling fair play elicits a like response in others.

DaRkAnGeL'S WoRdS oF WiSdOm :

"Fair play is primarily not blaming others for anything that is wrong with us." Don't complicate. The ability to simplify means to eliminate the unnecessary so that the necessary may speak."

ChAnGeS....

There's the problem! Unfortunately, some of us may not live long enough to learn this lesson! It's so easy to see what is wrong "out there" and expand all our energies trying to change people, places and things (and keeping terribly busy doing it!), never taking the time to see how we need to change ourselves to make our lives and the lives of those around us better.

After we have expended our energies on the impossible, we have the oppportunity in the quiet of exhaustion to see what is possible. Often what is possible in even the worst of circumstances is changing & shifting our attitude & perspective. When we do that, doors begin to open that were not even visible to us before.

Just with a quote of example, after hearing from many, I was often presented with lots of scenarios. While friends of mine are struggling through relationship problems, I am glad that I was spared of the excruciating cruelty. Think again on that, I may not have practise what I preached. For me, I will never be able to accept stagnation as far as relationship is concerned. So, it is one to hope & aspire for the ideal relationship. But what's ideal now is not going to stay ideal forever. We have to face it when reality bites. Cruel it may seemed, but that's life. Rectify now or get to regret it later. It's a do it or lose it. Talk it out now or forever hold your peace. There's no staying within the shadow. Take charge of your life and you will end up with new new possibilities.

We humans are so dear. We often take forever to see the obvious and we often get quite bloody in the process. Nonetheless, I am, too classified as one stubborn individual (as according to those around me). So good luck to all.


DaRkAnGeL's WoRdS oF WiSdOm :

"There is a guidance for each of us and by lowly listening we shall hear the right word... Place yourself in the middle of the stream of power which flows into your life. Then without effort, you are impelled to the truth and to perfect contentment."

Patterns Of Life

What an evening! Work & gym and finished off with a great dinner. Thousand apologies to my dear friend as he's not too much of a herbivore. Haha! What a disappointed face he put up when I suggested salad. We are what we eat after all and too much meat destroy the balance of the ecology. Not bothered about having gym for more than 2 hours, I am not letting my diet go waste. Eat right & exercise well is what I want. As he proclaimed he is always tied down by work and time is defintely of an essence in his busy schedule and I am definitely someone who's in control of my life. You can bet on that!

Hmm... control for your life. How many of us can maintain that? Often we are so busy participating in life that we never take a look at the larger picture. Even more often, we have set up our lives at such a hectic pace and are so over-extended that we are not actually participating in life. We are being driven by a life that we have constructed in such a way as to be sure to miss out on what life is really about.

No matter who we are or how we live our lives, all of us can benefit from taking some time to stop, back off from busyness and perceive our lives from a larger perspective.

We don't have time, you say? Nonsense! We can take the time. The choice is always ours. We need time when we can disengage for a day, a week or even a month to get an eagle-eyed view of what we are doing and what we are all about. Living consciously is one of the greatest gifts we can give ourselves. We can definitely treat ourselves better.

DaRkAnGeL'S WoRdS oF WiSdOm :

"All is pattern, all life, but we can't always see the pattern when we are part of it."

Marriage / Intimate Relationships

Balance in a marriage or other intimate relationship is never achieve by trying to get the relationship just the way you want it & then keeping it that way you want it & then keeping it that way. According to my understanding, I may be wrong, you tell me. Marriage is a process in which each spouse has the option of participating. When we try to build the relationship to some "finished" state & then keep it static there, we are inviting death into what should be moving, changing process. The only way to keep a process that we truly care about alive is to participate in it. Balance is participation. A good marriage merges participation with forgiveness & caring. Stasis has no place here - be it marriage or an intimate relationship one shares.

Happened to know many who feel trapped within the marriage they once perceived as perfect. But once things get stagnant, the couple start drifting. As time elapsed, no one do anything and things start falling apart and the family unit begin to collapse. This very often results in a breakup. Rather than making progress to correct & rectify, many will just lapse into non-participation.

When we truly participate, approaching the relationship out of our spirituality, we feel love. When we move out of our spirituality, miracles are possible.

DaRkAnGeL'S WoRdS oF WiSdOm :

"It takes a really long time to be really married. One marries many times at many levels within a marriage. If you have more marriages than you have divorces within the marriage, you are lucky."

Talking... too much or too little?

It's really hard to get it right. We are often told to be assertive and put ourselves out there to get anywhere in this world, and then, J. Allen Boone tells us that talking unwisely and frugally can drain our power away. I often observe this golden teaching, but what's a person to do? I rather be with someone who can gauge & determine the right thing to do to the right person. Talking with moderation & understanding. Especially guys. Talking unnecessary and "wrongfully" will definitely jeopardise the possible good impression.

Learning the art and power of active silence is an art well worth the time it takes to learn it. Have you ever been in a group of people where everyone was just chattering away, trying to be seen and get their point across when the words of one previously silent person left the other speechless? Hilarious! I was told rather often to have provided such surprise. Appalling to some even!

Perhaps our power does leak out when our focus is not where it should be. When we talk wisely and frugally, we don't have much to say, so every word counts. When our silence is confused, self-centered or controlling, we have little to add. When we give our power away by focusing on others, we leak power. This is so much often I observed to be happening.

We can learn ways of participating in silence and ways of being meaningful when we speak. None of us wants to be an "unnecessary noise" and each of us has that potential.

DaRkAnGeL'S WoRdS oF WiSdOm :

"I have learned that the great challenge of life is to decide what's important and to disregard everything else."

Understanding With Our Hearts

My mom is a natural healer to people & I love her to bits. (FYI, she doesn't read my blogs) She always try to teach me that we can never completely understand another person, even between lovers, though we can accept that they have their reasons. She didn't interpret. She didn't analyse or figue out. She "understood" with her heart.

Over the year, I have come to see how destructive it is to interpret another person. The arrogance, judgementalism & harshness of interpretation go a long way towards destroying relationships. I, am one exemplary role to attest to that. Even when our interpretations make sense & are based on "facts", they may have absolutely nothing to do with genuine reality.

When we analyse or try to figure out other people, we have made them an object to observe. We have left behind our oneness, our connectedness with them, our family, loved ones & friends; we have elevated ourselves above them & become uncaring. When we understand with our heart, we see that others have "reasons" we aren't privy to that lie behind their behaviours. We can care for them as people like ourselves - people who are struggling to learn from life.

I was often seen by many as arrogant & isolating. But I am just being confident. It's a harsh world & dwells harsher people. My guards are definitely up. But then, still, we have to tread with care. Love still rules, I guess. I am trying to change for the better. Hope I can still be given the opportunity to transform. And you should too.

DaRkAnGeL'S WoRdS oF WisDoM :

"Today's success comes with many disappointments & failures. Never denounce nor fear the past which has served up a great deal of learning & wisdom."

Feelings... What A Wonderful Ability

Had another great workout today! Run, Spin Class & Zumba. Super fun & exhilarating! Spin was great. Totally drenched when done & my legs were almost reduced to jello. This gay instructor was damn good. But bloody strenuous. Zumba was really good. Panting away. But I do dislike being teased by the instructor, especially one with a hot bod! Hahaha! Anyway, it's a great session altogether. He's harmless and terribly friendly nonetheless. And he's really funny! Was feeling kind of moodless & frustrated the whole day. Met up my rather interesting friend for dinner after gym. Chat & wine. All's rounded off on a happier note. Feeling perked up again!

Let's hear it for feelings! Feelings are the doors through which we have to go to reach beyond ourselves. Many of us has been taught we can't trust our feelings, and this has thrown us out of balance with ourselves & with our connection with our spirituality & with the world. We cannot reach our spirituality through our minds. The mind "thinks about" the spiritual, whereas our feelings "experience" the spiritual. Both our minds & our feelings enrich our knowledge of our spiritual selves. We can reach spirituality with our feelings alone. Our minds by themselves can only find abstract concepts.

If we spend as much time enriching our feelings & our relationship with them as we do enriching our minds, imagine what would happen! Start working with your feelings. Honor them. When you feel something, notice it; assume it is there for a very good reason & let yourself truly feel it. Start to notice those small tinges that are the precursors to full-fledged feelings.


DaRkAnGeL'S WoRdS oF WiSdOm :

"The past can't be changed, but you can alter & make correction. Worse will it be if one dwells on past with the knowledge that the rightful decision has been wrongfully made. The future is still in your power. Don't ever think of giving up!"

Standing Out... Am I Guilty Or what?

How dangerous it is to be excellent and attractive! We live in a world where mediocrity means safety. Women, especially (includes myself) that it is very dangerous to stick our heads above the crown. There are always others who would like to take a swig at any target. 2 groups of guys actually when dealing with this complex game of "mouse & cat". One will create all sorts of chances for themselves sparing no opportunities for failure and the 2nd group of those who backed down after sensing danger & strong competition.

Recently, someone I know has ended her relationship with her boyfriend. She became too stressed out, snapped and just sort of detached herself & left for a good period of time. Somehow, news gotten out when she returned. The guys came swooping down on her. She was humored at 1st. But after almost 2 months of running & evading, she's game. Exhausted in fact, adding on with the toil of her stressful job, she's not giving in anymore to any nonsensical demands or unwarranted attention. To many who thinks this is flattering, but in actuality, it could be quite frustrating & very often led to exasperation. So, guys, leave some space ok? Don't persist with such daunting demands as I can say. Align yourself with Mahatma Ghandi's passive ideology.

Somewhere, somehow, we have learned that the safest position we can take is back, down low. We sit on our power and try not to let others (even ourselves) see it. We may have the illusion of safety and the feeling of being a clogged-up sewer pipe.That's my advice to her.

Claiming our power maybe dangerous, and... it sure is fun.

DaRkAnGeL'S WoRdS oF WiSdOm :

"I have not ceased being fearful, but I have ceased to let fear take control of me. I have accepted fear as part of my life - specifically the fear of change, the fear of the unknown; and I have gone ahead despite the frantic pounding in my heart that says : Turn back, turn back, you'll die, alone , if you venture too far. The choice is made. There's no turning back."

UseFuL LiViNg...

I am so tired!!! God! I thought I should have recharged. I can't believe it. Finished my lesson yesterday, went for a coffee with my course mates & a drink with my new friend, after a few drinks, I was concussed. Wouldn't consider myself such a lousy drinker. Yet I was knocked out by the time I got home. Start early today with a frenzy, meetings & clients. Still, I managed to finish part of my work, looked through new ones & start the plannings. Not to forget my course work. Sometimes, I really wonder. If I am living to my full potentials. If I have utilised well my time. When will I see the end... Still, I guess I have live usefully.

If we were to get too busy for useful living, we will be in trouble. We maybe rushing around looking very busy. We may be overburdened, overworked & over-extended, but, are we useful? Is it useful to us? When our experience of our work is that it contribute it contributes to useful living, no matter what it is, we feel good about ourselves.

When we get frantic & do too much, we lose sight of meaning. Undder these circumstances, the doing replaces the meaning. The job suffers and we suffer. We get caught up in a cycle of doing for doing's sake and the importance of making a contribution gets lost.

DaRkAnGeL'S WoRdS oF WiSdOm :

"I believe that any man's life will be filled with constant, unexpected encouragements... if he makes up his mind to do his level best each day of his life - that is, tries to make each day reach as nearly as possible the high water mark of pure, unselfish useful living."

Learning To Create Boundaries

Finally! I finished my course! So exhausting! At least I can recharge before the next one. Sometimes, I wonder how I can push myself this way. But somehow, I am also feeling the stretch. Thus, some limits have to be set. Feel my physic beingdangling at the edge. Mentally much withdrawn.

Limits are the barbed wire of real life. Boundaries are split-rail fences. When you push past limits, personal or professional, there's a good chance of being pricked as you hurtle up & over. But boundaries set apart the Sacred with simple grace. There's always enough room to maneuver between the rails if you are willing to bend.

We want our lives to feel limitless, so we must learn the art of creating boundaries that protect, nurture and sustain all we cherish. For most of us, creating boundaries is excruciating, so we don't do it until we are pushed to the outer edge of tolerance. To create boundaries we must learn to say, 'thus far and no further'. This means speaking up. Expressing our needs. Indicating our preferences. These moments are tense nd can easily escalate into confrontations complete with tears, misunderstandings and hurt feelings. This is why many stay quiet, rendered virtually mute by unexpressed rage and unable to articulate any needs at all. But even we are mute, we are not powerless to draw a line in the sand.

Whenever we deny our need to say 'no', our self respect diminishes. It is not only our right at certain times to say 'no'; it is our deepest responsibility. For it is a gift to ourselves when we say 'no' to those old habits that dissipate our energy, 'no' to what robs us of our inner joy, ;no' to what distracts us from our purpose. And it is a gift to others to say 'no' when their expectations do not ring true for us, for in doing, we free them to discover more fully the truth of their own path. Saying 'no' can be liberating when it expresses our commitment to take a stand for what we believe we truly need.

DaRkAnGeL'S WoRdS oF WiSdOm :

"Before I built a wall, I'd ask to know. What I was walling in or walling out."

Perseverence ... We Can Do It!

Greetings to all! Buenas Noches! Guessed most have noticed that I did not make any publications yesterday. Too tired as I was having a 3 day full Higher Management Course for Partnership. Not too bad, besides me struggling to stay alert. Tomorrow will be my last. Yeah! I managed and persevered through!

Talk about perseverence, people who do too much often find themselves having trouble with that. We like to hurry up, get something finished, and get on to something else - something new. (Sounds really like me)

People who do too much are not good plodders. We enjoy the excitement and adrenaline of the rush and the push. (sounds even more like me!) Unfortunately, when we rush & push, our sense of balance suffers greatly. We are so focus on one motion - forward - that our sense of balance in all spheres, at all levels and in all directions becomes distorted. We maybe going around in circles and it is usually in one place or circles hopping wildly from one place to another. We lose ourselves in the process.

So, we might like to make a choice to concentrate on one thing instead, knowing that we can only take one step at a time and focusing on that step, taking it as completely and fully as we can. Those who are experiencing changes or bad times in their lives, don't give up. Perseverence will really make the difference.

DaRkAnGeL'S WoRdS oF WiSdOm :

"Perseverence is not a long race; it is many short races going on one after another."

Exercise

Exercise -working out - getting in shape - reducing stress - going for the burn - striving for endorphins - no pain, no gain. The question posed to me by my date - Where did we ever get the idea that torture by others isn't okay & self torture is? Torture is torture as he claimed. (& God, he sure is adament about his point of view as we spent more than half the time we are together debating on the said issue & he sure is not too happy with him losing his point & I not taking his advice) But here I explained. People who do too much don't have time for gradual changes. We want everything at once. Exercise is good for us. There's no doubt about it. Exercise that is pleasureable & soothes the soul is even better for us. Our bodies don't exist in isolation. The best exercise we can do is one that relaxes & feeds all parts of our being while helping to keep our bodies healthy.

All too often, we don't exercise because we haven't taken the time to find & experience long enough what really fits us. We approach exercise like we do so many other things - as something we have to do that's good for us, something we need to finish. No wonder so many people avoid it when they can.

So, my dear friends, the gateway towards a healthy mind, body & soul is not God given. More like a lifestyle of good living & definitely a good workout. Think again when making claims about me being a "gym freak". I am just playing it "safe".

DaRkAnGeL'S WoRdS oF WiSdOm :

"No pessimist ever discovered the secrets of the stars, or sailed to an unchartered land, or opened a new heaven to the human spirit."

October...

October... Now Indian summer arrives, a change of season that's more a sense memory than a date on the calendar. Finally the heat is passing. Gradually familiar surroundingsdon a rustic palate of jewel tones that dazzle with their beauty. Let October seduce you with her charms. "Beguile us in the way you know," poet Robert Frost entreated this season of abundance. Release one leaf at the break of day."

Had another great workout today! Just Body Jam. But bloody strenuous. But I do dislike being teased by the instructor, especially one with a hot bod! Hahaha! Anyway, it's a great session altogether. He's harmless and terribly friendly nonetheless. And he's really funny! Was feeling kind of listless & moodless the whole day. Met up my new & rather interesting friend for dinner after gym. Chat & wine. All's rounded off on a happier note. Feeling perked up again!

Wonder when my life will resume to normacy. Work is full of changes & new demands & expectations kept popping up. Still, I hope things can get back to what was like before. At least I can be & stay in control.

DaRkAnGeL's CrEaTiOn :

"The soul should always stand ajar, ready to welcome the estatic experience."