Dreams...

Dreams add balance to our lives generally. There are two major kinds of dreams, and both are just as important. Some dreams are hopes and wishes. Many of these were formed or discovered from young. and they give our forward movement a structure and focus throughout life. They may have had the rough edges knocked off over the years and if we view them tenderly, we will see that many of them have served it's purpose well as wise guidepost, pointing our way and direction whether we realized it or not at that time. 

Then, there are the dreams that come to us in our sleep and in near-sleeping states. These dreams are messages and experiences that our rational, logical mind does not know how to handle. Well, at least that's what I feel and was told by my most "talented" Romanian-blooded aunt.

Our dreams are our inner being's attempt to bypass our rational mind with our deeper feelings and the messages of these dreams filter deep into us so that we can integrate our wholeness. Interpretation of dreams may not definitely be useful at all. Instead, we need to "feel" into the knowing. And definitely knowing, somehow out there, there was a connection after all. So, honor your dreams, waking and sleeping. Respect the information they have for you. 

DaRkAnGeL's WoRdS oF WiSdOm :

"Life may seemed like a long shipwreck of which the debris are friendship, glory and love. The shores of our existence are strewn with them."

   

Freedom / Responsibility

An ordinary day at work that seems uneventful. Tough still seeing angry people walking in and out of my office. Seems ironical since it's freedom they are seeking, but ended up with more responsibilities on their shoulders. As I prognosticated. All may not definitely end well. Still the choice is one's own.

Freedom and responsibility - the words seem to go together. We cannot have freedom unless we are willing to take responsibility for our lives and it is through the act of taking responsibility that we begin to feel a sense of power and freedom. It almost seems that modern psychology has so convinced us that we are victims that we are willing to throw out the baby with the bath water, giving up the potential freedom in order not to take responsibility. What a loss!

Responsibility is not about accountability or blame. Accountability and blame are much too small to encompass responsibility. Accountability and blame have distorted our concept of responsibility. We are not responsibility for events we cannot control. We are responsibility for what we say and do and how we react to happenings that are out of our control. That's plenty; that's enough. Try freedom.

Try responsibility. You might like them. Spend one day being utterly responsible for everything you do. Feel the return of your personal power and freedom.

DaRkAnGeL'S WoRdS oF WiSdOm :

"Men is condemn to be free; because once thrown into the world, he is responsible for everything he does."   

Rx For Harried Hearts And Frazzled Minds

Have you ever experience this - Some nights waves of weariness beat against our brains, crash against our hearts, wash over our bodies, threatening to erode our best defenses like sand dunes upon the shore. The water is cold, dark and deep. Diversions that have worked in the past - drink, drugs, food, sex, shopping and work - now obscure a dangerous undertow. Nothing seems to hold back the tide. We need someone to throw us a line, to rescue us from drowning in disappointment. When these nights come and I find I'm stranded alone on the beach of faltering belief, I have found refuge in a very centering and comforting prayer, which I get to chanced upon in my early teens by Dame Julian of Norwich, a 13th century English mystic :

     "All shall be well,
      And all shall be well,
      And all manner of things shall be well."

This simple affirmation of faith is especially comforting because it seems to console the dark submerged sadness of the explicable, the unexpressed, the unresolved, the unfair and the undeniable that stalk my soul after I close my eyes. I'll say the prayer over and over again softly, under my breath like a mantra, not trying to understand the meaning of the words because I can't really at that age (12 yrs old). Some mysteries are beyond our comprehension. Some mysteries we will never solve. Never know.

So instead of trying to make sense of it all, I simply let the Spirit of the words sooth my frazzled mind and harried heart until sleep comes. Sometimes we can't make sense of it. Sometimes none of it make sense. Sometimes it just is. But if we can hold on enough for this night to give way to another day, all shall be well, even if it's different from what we had expected. Even if it's different from what we had hoped for and believe with all our hearts would happen. Well, it's Thanksgiving, so we certainly have more than enough to be gratified and grateful about, for ourselves as well as for our love ones. So, give thanks.

DaRkAnGeL'S WoRdS oF WiSdOm :
"There is hope for all of us no matter what happened. Well, anyway, if you don't die, you live through it, day in, day out."

Self Reliance... Am I Guilty?

Rarely do we take the time to examine the philosophies that guide or confine our day-to-day living. So subtle is the influence of some of these philosophies that we do not even have a conscious awareness of their existence. Take self-reliance for example.

Self-reliance is part of the warp and woof of the modern culture; it is an ideal that permeates much of how and what we think and feel. Yet self-reliance is a difficult issue for many of us. Self-reliance has been twisted to mean that we have to do everything for ourselves, that asking for help is an act of losing "face" and dignity. It's probably an issue of one's pride, I guess. As thought or consider by the majority, that heroes are people who never need anyone else. It is more like they are more likely to be needed rather than to need. And even when they accept help, they don't really need it.

Perhaps most of us would stop right there and loudly decry, "This is too much and too extreme for me. It doesn't apply." Doesn't it? Take a closer look. Do we secretly fee like failures when we don't know how to do everything ourselves? Do we push ourselves beyond our level of expertise? Have we "given up" because we unconsciously hold on to a belief in self-reliance but just can't do it at all? Are we so self-sufficient that we don't know how to function cooperatively?

A balance life invites us to learn to take responsibility and use our talents and yet it also reminds us that a rope held by many hands is stronger than a rope held by only one.

DaRkAnGeL's WoRdS oF WiSdOm :

"We cannot climb up a rope that is attached only to our own belt. For I am learning everyday. Life wouldn't be any fun if it didn't have its ups and downs."

Criticism - Positivism

How often I heard this - criticism. More so because I was often labelled as a critic. Maybe it's my profession, maybe it's the way I am brought up and even possibly my exposure to life. So, here I am, found guilty of this charge. But I have mellowed down so far over the years and still trying to do so. Criticism and cynicism are national diseases. And, this doesn't mean that people who do too much have to overburdened themselves with them.

Although criticism and analysis are still seen as sophisticated and scientific, we do have other choices. For example, we can vaccinate ourselves against their contagion with positivism. We can silence our inner critic. The choice is ours. Being critical rarely results in improvement; it usually results in distrust and sometimes even anger. We can catch ourselves in the act of being critical and take another tack. We can ignore our negative thoughts rather than feed them on grains of criticism. We can accept flaws and what needs to be changed while shifting our focus to positives and goodness.

Being critical can become a habit and habits are easier to make them break. Being positive can become a habit too. We can be grateful for what we have, for who another person is, for what we have achieved and received and for what we have learned. When we replace the negative with the positive, subtle and significant shifts begin to occur, like huge fissures in a glacier.

So, since quite a few of my buddies and other friends aregoing through trying and daunting times, this publication is dedicated to them. As you who is going through obstacles getting the financial freedom you longed for, where you feel your career is taxing you, so much so, you feel your life is so stressful and hoping for the change that never seems to happen. And also to you who has just stepped into the society after your graduation, that everything seems so bleak and uncertain.

Now, with this, I implore you my dear friends, try noticingyour inner critic, silencing it and replacing it with something positive and sit back, relax and see what happens. You may be pleasantly surprised by how much your life will turn towards and results in a positive outcome.

DaRkAnGeL's WoRdS oF WiSdOm :

"We are all made up of fragments, so randomly and strangely assembled that every moment, every piece plays its own game. There is as much difference between us and ourselves as between us and others."

Attitudes

I was as often told, that I sometimes get almost dizzy with the the strength and power I have! Seems well said! We all have the power to make our life easier just by how we approach it. What a revolutionary thought - from me.

Life is a process in which we can participate, stand back and bemoan our fate, or we can try to ignore it and meander through it as best as we can. The decision is in our hands. We can make life much more difficult with the decisions we make or we can make it simpler and easier.

One of the ways we make our life hard is by convincing ourselves that we are a victim. Victims don't have much fun. We may indeed have been victimised in many different ways and it is up to us whether we become a victim or not. I may not like others do to me. I may not like my station in life. I may also not like what life has dealt me. Yet, no one owes me anything. No one but myself can take the next step and make me a victim. Victims are unhappy and resentful, miserable and isolated. Isn't it great to know that we have a choice?


DaRkAnGeL's WoRdS oF WiSdOm :

"No life is so hard that you can't make it easier by the way you take it."

Dealing With Criticisms & Self-Doubt

Day in day out, we get to hear from others around us - criticisms for ourselves or for others. But be it we are able to deal with them is another question altogether. With that, doubts and uncertainties begin to creep in to our being, taking over our senses and will-power sometimes.

There aren't many of us who have really mastered the difference between accepting and checking out criticism and doubting ourselves. Doubting or not doubting ourselves is much deeper than accepting criticism. In fact, it is only when we have a deep, abiding relationship with ourselves - that trusts that we can take in, check out, handle and clearly accept or reject criticism - that we come not to doubt ourselves. When we are defensive, we clearly don't trust ourselves enough to examine criticism, sorting it out, keeping what is useful and tossing the rest. It helps a great deal to know that we have some sort of Higher Power we can ultimately turn the issue over to after we have done our part.

Ever ask yourself? What do you do with criticism? When you get into a cycle of self-doubt, trying stepping back, being open to any truth in the criticism, checking it out, taking what is useful and pitching the rest, knowing that you have done what you can.

As we go through this process, we learn to trust ourselves. Berating and beating ourselves up is only self-centered self-indulgence. Who needs it? When we learn to have confidence in ourselves and our abilities, we can leave the outcome to the powers that be.

DaRkAnGeL'S WoRdS oF Wisdom :

"One thing I never do is doubt myself ... I don't beat myself up like that. I have confidence in myself and my ability. Whatever happens is the Lord's will."

Pushing Ourselves...

Who said that? Every person whose life is out of balance is overcome by that feeling at some point. Yet, if we really drive ourselves , we discover that we can push our limits to the max.

We live life in a culture where pushing beyond our limits and almost killing ourselves at our own expense and that of those who love us has become heroic. What a crock! What's the joy and excitement in being "financially well taken care of" if the person who does the caring (whom we love) is a near-dead, limit-pushing hero?

There is a great difference between challenging ourselves and pushing ourselves to break our limits and ourselves. Challenging ourselves is respectful of ourselves and others. Challenging ourselves is not a frenzied plunge to find our spirituality; it is a tender working with our spirituality.

Just heard from a friend that her relative is unfortunately diagnosed with cancer, with two still young children. The world is indeed callous. We won't know where the road will end. So, when we are still standing strong, it will be worthwhile to put our best attempt in all our endeavours and for our love ones, before our time runs out.


DaRkAnGeL'S WoRdS oF WiSdOm :

"The rung of a ladder was never meant to rest upon. But only to hold a man's foot long enough to enable him to put the other somewhat higher."

Hope...

One of the things that silently falls by the wayside when our busy lives get stretched too thin is hope. Hope is never limited to the unreal. Hope is that process within ourselves that stretches us beyond the ordinary, beyond the possible to the impossible, while at the same time rendering what seemed impossible possible. Hope feeds our soul and being. It is that immeasurable source of power that comes from beyond ourselves and is not controlled by us.

Depriving ourselves of hope confines us to a world grown devoid of colors and surprises. We no longer see the flowers and the rainbows that are there.

Hope is not expensive to have . On the contrary, it is very expensive to be without. Hope is one of the inalienable gifts we have as human beings. It can never be squandered or overused. So, whenever you feel desperate or hopelesss, recognize and accept. Let yourself know how that feeling is there to open the possibility for hope to re-enter your life.

DaRkAnGeL's WoRdS oF WiSdOm :

"There are no hopeless situations; there are only people who have grown hopeless about them."

Self - Acceptance

There will never be an ending to hear from others lamenting about themselves - their short-comings, the so called "imperfections" . What person other than ourselves can we be sure will be with us from the moment of conception until the last breath leaves our body? None that I can think of. We may look for someone to be with us always and even the love of our life will not have the same duration with ourselves that we do. Let's face it ; if we are looking for longevity in our relationships, we are it! No relationships last forever. Not to mention the time of age we are in. All things, are after all, transient. That's just the way it is.

Now that we have established the point of unique longevity, let's explore some of the factors that may limit our romance with ourselves. This is the easiest love affair of our lives and we don't want to miss it.

Self-acceptance - now that's a tough one. Some of us are so busy trying to make someone like us or trying to be someone else - who we think we should be, who society or our family thinks we should be, or who we dream we are - that we have difficulty seeing and accepting who we are at this point in time and space. The irony is that the minute we accept ourselves as we are, we can change and grow and move on.

Admitting our mistakes is one of the wide avenues leading to self-love. When we admit our mistakes and make amends for them, we reclaim our power and actually like ourselves better. Remember, lifelong romances take time, a real much longer time. Learn to love love yourself better.

DaRkAnGeL'S WoRdS oF WiSdOm :

"Modesty is to merit what shadow is to the figures in a picture; it gives accent and strength."

Not Blogging Today... Sorry To All Readers.

What a thing to happen! Having another asthma attack and wheezing badly. So can't blog. Will be back next Monday. Cheers and happy weekend to all.

Living In The Present... I Like That!

Living in the present is like trying to balance on "the present's tiny point" in toes shoes. Falling into the future or the past is always a more-than-likely possibility. In the past, when I heard beautiful words about living in the present, I would generally think, "Well, this living in the present is a beautiful sentiment, and ... it's not really a practical reality." I would feel please with myself for valuing the sentiment of living in the present and yet I would keep doing what I had been doing.

Then suddenly today - I got it! I realized that living in the present is not an idea. It's reality. It's like taking one step at a time. Sounds good. Was actually having a similar conversation with a friend of mine couple of days ago. He was telling me to take life from here as it is. Not to prognosticate into the future just yet, not to expect anything but live for the moment and enjoy every minute I can. And what the future had in store for us will be a pleasant surprise as good things come to those who are patient enough to wait. He mentioned that we should enjoy the present and take one day at a time and if it's meant to be, things will happen. As of now, I am trying to take it in and look forward to the light at the end of the tunnel, be it that will be a pleasant sight or not.

Good philosophy, right? It also occurred to me. Have you ever tried to take two steps at a time? We can't. It's as simple as that : we just can't. It's the same with living in the present. Our thoughts are just thoughts. Our bodies are in the present. We are in the present. That's just the way it is.

DaRkAnGeL's WoRdS oF WiSdOm :

"The past has flown away. The coming month and year do not exist. Ours only is the present's tiny point."

What's Important

A long and tiring day. Good enough as I managed to complete most if not all that's on my plate. And even better, a friend of mine was online keeping me company with the chats. Though he's a distance away (Canada), he never fail to make me laugh and get my moods up. Went to gym and had a great workout. Met up with my gal friend and all these little silly talks & laughs ends my day on a peaceful note. That is good enough. And I definitely think it's important to have this little perks for life to be more bearable.

There are many ways to look at what's important in life. What's essential, however, is to let ourselves see what's important. To some, could be power, financial satisfaction and not to forget, love. For me, spiritual intelligence is vital. No matter how we conceptualize what's important for ourselves, the concept of balance is always in there someplace.

We need to live in our physical world. That's our reality. so, we need to find, build and develop a physical reality in which we can live, thrive, grow and learn. Making our own peculiar, comfortable nest is essential for us. Yet, this process of creating our physical reality will never be satisfying for us if it is at the expense of our second reality : the creation of ourselves.

Just as some of my friends told me. That I have been so immersed in my work that I probably should settle down and let my the other half share the burden of this stress. Not that I have someone there I really wish to share my life with, but, thinking the possibility of "losing" myself seems like a big gamble I have to take if I decided on this option. Thus, I rather convince myself to find my direction on my own. At least, I have myself to answer to only if anything should go awry.

As mentioned, the creation of ourselves demands that we go deep within, facing our demons, our fears, exploring our depths and soaring with our infiniteness. We need the balance. And definitely with me as no exception. Until the right one comes along, I will consider myself staying put in this department. Have seen too much, been there and done that. So whoever is contemplative, like me, do consider some of such factors for deliberation.

DaRkAnGeL'S WoRdS oF WiSdOm :

"It is not doing the thing we like to do, but liking the thing we have to do. That make life blessed."

Everydayness...

Someone used to tell me (and is still telling me) that she envy my life. I simply can't understand what's there really to cause that. Maybe I am ignorant or maybe I am just not there to appreciate it. Life isn't so much a bed of roses to me too. Yes, I have a stable job, not falling short of attention from people and definitely a character and personality many would not choose to demean.

Still, I am meticulously counting my days, counting down to the day I can lead the life I want. Looking forward to the day I need not see misery of others and being not mentally exhausted. The day I can be enlightened and look forward to the time I can be - "alone". Don't get me wrong, I am not saying I want to be a hermit and die without anyone with me. I hoped, just like many other girls had, find someone out there who can understand me, without me needing to explain in great depths. Just that, at the moment, it just don't seem to be possible. My life evolve around others, just not mine. I just don't seem to be able to stand on with time and stay focus. Simply too tired... too much effort, I guessed. Or maybe, the right one is yet to make his grand entrance. Before all these happens, seeking enlightenment will my ultimate goal now.

When we seek enlightenment and balance, we must look to the ordinary. It is the awareness of our presence in every little thing we do that brings balance. Life lived with one constant adrenaline high after another is exhausting, stressful and unreal. To approach the depth of life, one must be immersed in it. Only in our full participation in the little things can we hope to approach the infinite.

All too often we go for the adrenaline high to give us the illusion that we are alive and experiencing something meaningful. Whether it is at work, in sports or in romance, the adrenaline high is the illusion. Reality is found in the everyday routine of life. If that can't even be satisfied, what more is there to say?

No task is too small. Our presence and participation are what make the difference. For me, I am putting every effort to get involved. So much so, I frequently get out of sync. It's not easy to understand me, not even myself can be up to it. But again, making comprehension of all these people in this fantastic world is an equally daunting task. I wish, one day, I get my fair share of life too. If not in this world, another will be just fine. So, you who are part of my world, be it now or before, read this and exercise some efforts to understand this person here. I believe I do not possess the acumen to be an expert in this area of life.


DaRkAnGeL'S WoRdS oF WiSdOm :

"I claim not to have controlled people's lives, but confess plainly that lives of others have controlled me. That is a blatant fact."

~ DaRkAnGeL'S PsALm oF LifE ~

"Lives of great men all remind us
We can make our lives sublime,
And, departing, leave behind us
Footprints in the sands of time.

Let us, then, be up and doing,
With a heart for any fate;
Still achieving, still pursuing,
Learn to labour and to wait."

Lost Perspectives...

Once upon a time, I was this girl, full of aspirations and zeal. Taking Law is never my intend altogether, my interest - War Journalism. But all the same I went ahead, since my Dad was not keen on me doing that because it's too much of risk. Now, I am totally "lost". Getting out of my job proves to be too difficult, as I have discussed with people around me. Staying put will temporary be my only option. But I am undaunted. I won't put myself down because of my job. I may have lost my perspective then. But now it's my turn to move on. I will definitely put my best strike for my job, duty of care, that is. But I will start looking for my "paradise" too.

Looking back, I realised how easy for me to lose my perspective when we are under stress and duress. Just when we most need support & help, we often decide to focus doggedly on the task at hand. We look neither left or right. We take on the characteristics of a tyrant, expecting everything in our evironment to modify itself around what we are doing. Probably we became more complacent than needed. Suddenly, we and our work become the center of the Universe and we are often truly surprised when others don't see "reality" the same way we do.

Just when we need other input the most, we isolate, pull into ourselves and develop a laser like focuson what has to be done. This is when we need to stop, call friends together and get a reality check. For me, I do more than that. I will get myself a distraction as well. Such are great for getting back perspectives.

DaRkAnGeL's WoRdS oF WiSdOm :

"There is no work in the world so toilsome as that of pursuing fame & power; life is over before the main part of your work has begun. When we do the best that we can, we never know what miracle is wrought in our life or more important in the life of another "

Turning To & Not Onto Others...

Time really wheezes by. It's coming to almost 3 months since I am back. I can't say more to all that happened and will still be happening around us. Our lives evolves around the same issues, so much so, we start to take advantage of blessings that comes & goes. Things and situations could be so excacerbated and intensified over time. But still I have to appreciate all those who choose to still be around me and be my friends. No matter what happens, this will always be and never be altered. I love my friends as they are as much as I can. But I am human after all. Push me to the edge & I have to back off. Can't expect me to be perfect & flawless though I put in my best effort to be understanding. So, I hope you can understand my outburst.

We are all busy people in our own ways. Be it for work or for family. Very often we do not have time to the time to deal with the feelings that build up in a normal, hectic day in a normal and hectic world. And yet our feelings are such precious gift. They tell us when something is not quite right. They provide us with the quick, instantaneous, surprising moments of joy in an otherwise gray day.; they alert us and let us know of the love that we feel for those around us; and they let us knowof danger and the need to be cautious.

Unfortunately, we have not been given the focused training, be it by our parents or schools, to enable us to deal with our feelings the way we have been trained to deal with our minds. When feelings built up inside of us, we tend to dump them on the ones nearest and dearest to us, feeling sorry later. I often try to think and ponder about the effect on others and try to lead my mind to a void, a space where I can search for my authentic self. There I will cool down and embrace the peace Iknow will get me transform - back to the loving and caring self. We can definitely do something about these behaviours and we will feel better about ourselves.

Be it for anyone, there's never a point of ne return. As friends we learn and grow together. All's well now and will be in time to come. No point running up the negative atmostphere. There's no such thing of ending friendship. Friends don't break off from each other. True friends stays together. They may be distant but never that at heart.


DaRkAnGeL'S WoRdS oF WiSdOm :

"It doesn't matter what things you pray for - it's always better to pray for people. It's always good to practise random acts of kindness and senseless act of beauty."

Exhaustion...

Finally! Tomorrow will be my last lesson of my last module. Still having much to do - conceptual plan, proposal, business manual... . Still it's good to know it's ending. I am so exhausted, juggling work with the course.

Asking myself, when was the last time I gave in to exhaustion? When was the last time I had a good time giving in to exhaustion? To me, exhaustion is not a personal attack on our bodies and nerves. Exhaustion is a natural consequence of living at the pace that most of us live. When we see exhaustion as natural, we don't get so angry with it. When we see it as a loving warning given by our body and spirit, we can let go of our resistance and give in to feeling exhausted.

There are just times when our head is tired, our muscles are tired and our being and soul are tired. I usually don't get sick. I will definitely try. Just be exhausted. Laze, lounge, veg, sleep and indulge. Recharge. Balance will slowly creep back into your life.

DaRkAnGeL'S WoRdS oF WiSdOm :

"Life is so constructed that we never get caught up. May the great mystery make sunrise in your heart."

Anger...

Anger is such a powerful, wonderful emotion. It's a pity that we waste it on those we love when we could do so much more with it. Anger and all of our other emotions are gifts that we have been given to open doors into deeper and deeper levels of ourselves and our consciousness. Emotions and feelings are the pathways beyond the rational, thinking mind that lead us to levels of spirituality not readily accessed. Anger is not a "negative emotion". It's what we do with our anger that's important. If we randomly dump it on others, we are not quite likely to get a backlash, we are probably going to feel bad about ourselves.

Actually, anger probably has little or nothing to do with those near and dear to us. The coward in us has taken the easy way out, dumping on those closest to us instead of gearing up our courage and facing off with it ourselves. Anger often simmers up in us as a warning, a signal that we need to pay attention to our internal life. If we don't, anger will wreak havoc on our external lives. Anger is a warning light, to go into ourselves. It is a glowing signal breaking through the shroud of darkness we have fashioned in our lives. Anger often offers an opportunity to learn something about ourselves, to use the blade of our wrath to plow the field of our learning rather than to strike down those we love. Anger should be our friend when we honor it and don't dump it on others.

Lashing out when we are angry can be detrimental to ourselves and others. Holding our tempers in can be detrimental to ourselves and others as well. We need a sfe place or at least a safe method to vent our anger, releasing it in a way that it is not directed at ourselves or anyone else. For me, I will try to release it through a good workout at the gym. If not go seek a retreat or spend your time with friends over a good dinner. That's what I did today. Definitely better than causing a temper detonation.

Just like what had happened today. My fuse has been lit. It's not really easy for me to get carried off by anger. I have learnt the art of detachment and to touch the tip of my nerves is really not an easy feat. I almost (maybe I did) blow my top. It may sound scary. Everyone along my path can feel the change of aura. But, I managed. I emerged as the victor as I arrest my temper. So, who ever is reading, please do a self check.

When we come into control and cease to be manipulated by our tempers, when we cease to have the need to justify it and we cease to spew it, we have the possibility to see it as the door that it is and let it take us down that dim path that leads to the light of spirituality and wisdom.May sound complicated but making the effort to try is worth the cause. The next time you feel angry, don't spew it. Welcome your anger and let it take you through and beyond feelings that may need to be healed to places of light.


DaRkAnGeL'S WoRdS oF WiSdOm :

"Anger is a symptom, a way of cloaking and expressing deep feelings too awful to experience directly - hurt, bitter, grief and most of all fear. arrest it before it's too late."

Chaos!

Today was a mad, mad chaotic day. My 1st day at class for my last module. But I was so engrossed - not with the trainer's speech. I was punching furiously on my 2 phones, replying emails, SMS and phone calls, making arranements for my work and with the clients. Most if not all are from office. I can't believe it I was like replying something like 2 dozen emails and countless SMS. By 3pm, my 2 phones are almost flat! Ridiculous it may sound, but it's true. Everything is so chaotic! Not too bad at all. I managed through the day.

According to what I perceived correct, Swedenborg was one of the early chaos theorists. If we really want balance in our lives, we need to be able to accept, tolerate and even embrace chaos. All too often, we find ourselves trying to put together things that fit badly. Two woods that cure at different rates and in different and in different ways, for example, don't do well when laminated together. All too often we want to believe that love is enough to hold together two people who are headed in very different directions. Sometimes, out of self -will and stubborness, we try to hold on to a job that we know deep down we don't even like or maybe getting us all burned out.

We refuse the severing and the resulting chaos and as a consequence miss the possible resultant order that "God arranges." When we lear to see chaos as a precursor of order, we are making progress. When chaos prevails, ask yourself if you can see it as a movement towards balance.

DaRkAnGeL'S WoRdS oF WiSdOm :

"Before anything is brought back into order, it is quite normal for it to be brought first into a kind of confusion, a virtue chaos. In this way, things that fit together badly are affected and severed from each other; and when they have been severed, the God arranges them in order."